The BoBoBo Files
by VanG Ziggy ZA
Summary: BoBoBo and company search the world to combat evil. The goal of the writer is to make his reader laugh so hard milk comes from their noses! New rating for coarse silliness and wildness.
1. Kentucky Bluegrass and Delightful Evil

THE BO-BOBO FILES

**_Ziggy's Corner: Okay this is my first attempt to do a story for this series. I haven't watched it a lot, but what I have watched has made me laugh my pants off, so I thought I'd give it a try. I have done parody, and since BoBo-BoBo Bo-BoBo is ripe with that kind of writing I should do a pretty good job! A word to the wise, this story will not really make much sense, actually there is going to be a good number of cameos from other series. If you all have a character from a cartoon show, anime, movie, tv series, etc. Let me know. If I like the character, or if I'm bored and have a bad case of writer's block, odds are good I'll put these characters in for a cameo appearance. Also, the narrator's voice is always in italic. Okay, on with the show!_**

_Bo-BoBo and Beauty walked down the lane, smelling the pretty flowers along the way. Beauty wasn't sure where they were going, she was never sure. All she knew was that this Bo-dacious defender of all things hairy would always seem to seek out and destroy any of King Baldy Bald's hair hunting henchmen. The sky was blue and the grass was a nice shade of Kentucky bluegrass and the path which they walked was light brown as if golden. _

It was then that Beauty had to stop and look at her companion, who had decided to dress up like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. "What are you doing!" she screamed, her eyes bulging out the way that anime character's do.

"I was just getting in character," he said, looking at her as if she was crazy herself.

_What Beauty did not realize was that her companion had longed to play the part of Dorothy in his grade school play. But the mean, meanies of that really mean school only laughed at him, and called him a freak. Not only that, but the ruby slippers were two sizes too small for his feet!_

Bo-BoBo dropped to the ground and wailed like a banshee, "It was horrible, my poor self esteem! My hair even teased me about it!"

"You bet we did, you tried to tie us up in pig tails!" his blonde hair cried. "What a big baby!"

Beauty sighed and shook her bright pink head, when she realized that something was seriously wrong. "Hey, wait a minute, Kentucky Bluegrass! How did we get to Kentucky?"

At that outburst she could hear the music of a horn play, a theme like, "ba da, da da da, da da da, da da da da dum!" Fearing what she might see next, the young woman turned around and dropped on her bum as she spied her walking companion, along with Don Patch, dressed in Kentucky Derby duds, and mounted on large white stallions.

"What on Earth are you two doing now!" she wailed, pulling on her pink locks.

"Well duh," the sun shaped ninja star said, "we're racing in the Kentucky Derby."

_And race they did, oh what a racy race it was, with lots of races cheering the glories of the race! And when it was over, there stood our hero, triumphant against the great evil, of the day!_

"What evil!" Beauty cried, teeth as sharp as talons, eyes completely white. "There was no evil here, all they did was race!

"Hmm, you may be right there, Beauty," Bo-BoBo said.

"No Bo-BoBo," cried a small man crawling out of his nose. "This was our day, our glorious wonderful day!" Then his wife pulled him back in the hero's nose, and slammed the metal door shut on his nostrils.

"Hold it right there, _adult!_" came the cry of a young boy holding a mustard gun, and donning black shades. He wore a red shirt, gray shorts, and spoke in a British accent. "I'm here to stop your insidious plot to hypnotize children with this boring sport."

Bo-BoBo looked at the boy and gasped. "My God, King Baldy Bald as got children working for him now! Well it's Snot-Fu you!" The metal doors to his nose opened and large whip like nose hairs rushed out at the boy.

"King who? I'm Numbah 1 of the Kids Next Door! We combat all adult tyranny!" He shot mustard at the nose hairs and rolled on the ground.

"Hmmm, if what you say is true, then you really didn't want to lose your hair in the first place."

"What are you talking about, he didn't say that?" Beauty roared.

_Ah but it was true Beauty, as we have seen in the episode with the Fountain of Youth, the insidious Delightful Children from Down the Lane, kidnapped and made Nigel Uno balder than King Baldy Bald himself!_

"Thank you announcer person," she grumbled.

_You are very welcome!_

"So, wait, you're not trying to enslave kids?" the boy asked.

"No, but if you want me to believe you, you have to do, one thing!"

"And that would be?"

Bo-BoBo removes the top part of his hair and points to two hungry little squirrels holding plain hot dogs. "Could you squirt some of your gun onto their hotdogs please?"

"Er, okay." Numbah 1 used his gun on the hotdogs, and then disappeared from the scene.

"Now, the evil shall have their due!" Bo-BoBo roars triumphantly.

"For the last time, what evil?" Beauty roared.

Bo-BoBo uses his Snot-Fu and his nose hair rushes into a bush, dragging out the Delightful Children, and tossing them around like dolls, before he pounds the living day lights out of them.

"Wait, I don't understand, where did that bush come from? And how did they get in it?" Beauty scratched her head, and sighed. It was just another abnormal day in her life. Little did she know it was going to get much weirder in the coming days.

_Has Bo-BoBo truly triumphed over the evil today? Will the Delightful Children ever learn their lesson? Where did Nigel Uno go after he gave the squirrels their mustard, and why was he so stingy with the ketchup? _

"All we wanted was a little ketchup too," cried the squirrels, "was that so wrong!"

_Will Bo-BoBo return to Kentucky next year to defend his title? And what happened to Don Patch? And WHY IS THIS STORY CALLED THE BO-BOBO FILES? Stay tuned fans, and we'll be back with these and other answers next time. _

_**Okay, I can seriously say I had a blast writing this. I hope I get enough reviews to keep it up, because I totally want to do more! What did you all think of it? Review, Review, Review, and let me know!**_


	2. Robot City Musical Envy

_**Ziggy's Corner: Okay on to chapter two! I hope it's as good as the first! Review people! Review, Review, Review, Review, Review!**_

_When last we left our heroes, Bo-BoBo and Don Patch competed in the Kentucky Derby, and to the cheering throng of millions of fans, our Bo-Dacious, Bo-dadical defender of all things hairy came out on top! Bo-BoBo stood on the podium, surrounded by friends and family and was given the keys to the city, by its very beautiful mayor, Paris Hilton._

Beauty rushed up onto the podium and shoved the blonde off, her hair a mess and her eyes wild. "Wait a minute; she wasn't in the last chapter! And she's not the mayor of any city either!"

_But Beauty, that how the author has decided to begin the story!_

"The narrator is right, Beauty, you can't just go charging in and changing the story when you feel like it," Bo-BoBo said with a nod of his pillowy yellow afro.

"What are you talking about? I'm not changing the story, he is, and what are we doing on the middle of a train station!" She looked around. Sure enough the Kentucky Bluegrass and the racing field had been replaced by an old fashioned train station. As she watched, five crew members carried off the props and gags of the previous chapter, one of them giving Paris Hilton a piggy back ride.

Bo-BoBo sniffed at the scene and wiped a teary eye. "That's so wonderful; I wish someone would have given me a piggy back ride when I was a straw thin, rich hotel heiress."

Beauty turned to her companion, and her eyes bugged out as she looked at him wearing the same type of clothes that Paris had been wearing. "What on Earth are you doing?"

He looked at her as if she was crazy, and he shrugged, sticking his hairy leg out as a train roared by. "Trying to get us a ride."

"Duh Beauty, anyone can see that," Don Patch said, mimicking the tall, heroic, hairy man.

"What is wrong with the two of you?" the frustrated woman asked. She slapped her head and sighed. _Oh well, hopefully someone will come along and give us a ride out of here._

They stood there for as long as the author deemed necessary, and at the stroke of thirteen, the station bustled to life with all sorts of mechanical beings, robots of all shapes and colors, old and new, rusty and shiny.

"Hey, you want to buy a picture of your first day here at robot city?" a rusty red tin man asked, his joints looking as if they were about to fall right off.

"I'm sorry, but we've already gotten pictures of that," Don Patch said, holding out dozens of pictures, so many that they filled the entire station.

"When did you take those?" Beauty asked, looking at pictures of her posing in different parts of the city that she didn't remember going.

"When you were asleep," Bo-BoBo answered.

"Asleep, when was I asle…," Beauty began to ask.

_Suddenly Beauty felt her eye lids droop and she dropped to the ground fast asleep. Unfortunately that was illegal in this part of the city, and a tall shiny man with biceps that could scare the piss out of Arnold Schwarzenegger's take up tap dancing classes. _

"Sleeping on the floor of Robot City Station is against the law," he cried, his body twinkling as he flexed his muscles. He had blonde hair, but only a tuff of it on his head, and a trail of blonde mustache.

_I just said that._

"My apologies," Armstrong said. Then he began flexing his muscles yet again. "Apologizing for saying something someone else has already has said has been passed down through the Armstrong line for Generations!"

"NOT HIM!" Beauty shot up and pointed at the character from FullMetal Alchemist, and nearly fainted.

"Now hold on, I have something to say," Bo-BoBo said.

_Ladies and gentlemen, the Bo-BoBo Grand Theater is proud to present the musical that will leave you in tears, BoBo Babby Bo!_

A curtain is pulled and there stood Bo-BoBo, dressed up in a tuxedo. Besides him are Don Patch, and the silver haired Spikey kid who keeps stalking the group in the series. Behind them are dozens of cute anime girls wearing bunny ears and tails.

"Now listen to what I say," Bo-BoBo began to sing. Behind him the girls bent over, hands on their knees and bounced to the music, singing "Uh-hu," over and over. "You've gotta get out your head from the hay." Again the girls sang the same tune, but were facing the other way now.

Don Patch took over. "You better eat your toast," he sang. The girls raised their arms and pumped them, chanting "your toast" over and over. "It's the breakfast I love the most."

The Spikey haired kid got into the act, "You better just run to Stevel," he said. The girls copied the boy's words leaping up and down. "Before we pound your evil!"

Finally the song was done, and the three heroes took a bow, thanking the millions of cheering robots and FullMetal Alchemist characters who were clapping with tears in their eyes.

Beauty on the other hand only sighed. "And I supposed they charged these people money for this too."

"That was a glorious concert," Armstrong wept. "And it's made me decide to finish you all off with the most glorious and beautiful of techniques." The diamonds around his body twinkled and shone as he posed, and he rushed for Bo-BoBo.

"Sorry chrome dome, but I've got other plans," Bo-BoBo said. He pulled his shirt apart and threw it on the ground. "Chestful of justice," he cried out. The weird hero's chest hair shot out and grabbed Armstrong, flinging him in the air like a ragdoll.

Not to be out done, Armstrong used Alchemy and slammed Bo-BoBo to the ground with an elbow, busting out one of his teeth.

"Hey wait a minute, Bo-BoBo has too many teeth," Beauty said. She looked over and the tooth that came out of his mouth came to life.

"I don't get it, how did you figure it out?" came a feminine voice. It transmutated and there stood Envy.

Bo-BoBo shot to his feet, wearing a British Redcoat uniform, and he pointed a finger at the Humoncolis. "How dare you be a man, but look and sound like a woman! That's my job," he shouted.

Beauty groaned and shook her head. "And he doesn't do a very good job at it either. Then it dawned on her what he had said. "Wait a minute, she's really a he!" she asked, pointing at Envy.

"That's right," Bo-BoBo and Armstrong said in unison.

"But it won't matter," Don Patch said. "Because we're ending this evil, right now. Er, unless you have a lot of money." Envy shook his head. "Then die you evil FREAK!"

_Just then Lust came rolling along on the scene with Gadget, and took Envy out with one of her clawed fingers. _

"I never did like him, he was thought he had cuter hair than me," she purred.

"Yeah, the stupid freak," her hair agreed. Before anyone could take the other two villains out, they disappeared into smoke, and were gone.

"Wait a minute, how could they disappear into smoke?" Winry asked.

"I have no idea," Beauty groaned.

_Unfortunately they never found out in this chapter, for the will of the author is great!_

"The author is a great big goof," Beauty moaned.

"Yeah, why'd you have to copy ROTS, anyway?" Winry asked.

_The author is not home right now, but if you leave a message, he'll get back to you as soon as he can. Beep_

"So now he has the narrator doing his dirty work?" the girls asked.

"It doesn't matter," Bo-BoBo said. "We've vanquished the evil and everything is fine and dandy." He looked at her with a goofy grin and stupidly said, "And now I'm going to eat some candy!"

_And so they all ate Halloween candy until they barfed, and floated on the river of barf to the next adventure. So the question remains, have they seen the end of Lust and Gadget? Will Bo-BoBo ever learn his lesson and stop eating so much candy? Why did just Winry make a cameo, where were Ed and Al?_

"Al, will you hurry up, we're going to miss the chapter. It's just a loincloth, you're a suit of armor, it not like there's anything down there anyway, so just pick one and let's go!"

"Oh yeah, this coming from a guy who's sliding down the drain in the bathroom sink."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT WHEN A GERM SNEEZES IT BLOWS HIM AWAY LIKE A TORNADO!"

"Duh, you."

_Will Ed and Al ever get ready for their cameos? And was the evil vanquished? Why didn't the author pick up his phone, and why didn't June Anatoplis ever accept my invitation to take her to Junior Prom? This and more questions will be answered in the next exciting chapters of, the BO-BOBO FILES!_

_**Okay I had fun with this one too, so let me know what ya all think!**_


	3. Way Too Many Cameos

_**Ziggy's Corner: Yay! Good Reviews! And I was the first every to create a Bo-BoBo story at AWESOME I MADE HISTORY! Okay, I'm going to do this a little bit different than the rest of my stories. I normally answer reviews at the end of the chapter, but in this case, where our hero's world is just so topsy turvey, I'll answer them at the beginning.**_

_**AnimeDutches: Yep, I know who the characters are from InuYasha, and yes, they are coming in the story. Not this chapter, but they are coming! Thanks for the love, and praise (although I was aiming at making milk come from your nose, not blowing your head off with laughter, sorry).**_

_**narutofan0: Thanks, and rest assured this trailblazer is coming with more chapters. I don't know when you'll see them, but you're getting them.**_

_**MeraNova: Damn another victim of a painful head, instead of nose milk. Well I'll just try harder to make even less sense and more humor, ;). Thank you for the praise.**_

**_spinningcannon: Thank you, but did I get you to shoot out milk? Rest assured Armstrong is not done with this story, and yes sighes Don Patch gets more scenes as the story goes on. _**Don Patch leaps for joy and pumps his fist. "They love me, they really love me!" Flips through the phone book. **_Erm. . . What are you doing?_** "Duh, getting their phone number, I want to hire them as my new agent!"

_**O… Kay. And with that little bit of egomania out of the way, on with the next chapter!**_

_When last we left our heroes, Bo-BoBo had a really nasty tooth ache, and Beauty fell straight asleep on the floor of Robot City Station. Not to take the rules too easy, State Alchemist Armstrong decided to intervene, and a battle ensued, which cost a sly villain his or her, depending on your point of view, life. Of course since Envy was a Homoculis he really couldn't die, so the whole scene was pointless. After that the heroes dined on rich German Halloween chocolate and floated away peacefully to this new chapter._

Beauty covered her hands over her ears and shook her head violently. "Floated away peacefully! Everybody puked and we were swept away in the tide!"

_Yes but it's much more romantic if you see if from my point of view. It brings in the readers!_

"The narrator's right, Beauty," Bo-BoBo said, sitting next to her and Don Patch in a materializing boat in the form of a bunny. "We need the readers."

Don Patch listened to the two talk, holding a salami stick with a line of floss and tossed it into the water. Soon he felt a tug on the other end, and yanked up, lifting a large, balding man onto the bunny boat, who flopped and flipped like a fish, his mouth opening and gasping for water.

"Hey, how did the author get caught on a floss line?" Beauty asked.

"That's not the author," Bo-BoBo said, looking down at him.

"But he's bald as the author," the pink haired cutie said.

"But the author has red hair, not gray like this one. And look, the author doesn't dress in a business suit," Don Patch said. "This man clearly works for King Baldy Bald." He turned into a deadly ninja star and launched himself at the old bald man, but just as he did, someone called out, and he stopped in the air.

"Hey, who's messing up my big heroic scene!" the throwing star asked, glaring at the author.

_Little did the shiny orange egomaniacal star know, that two young girls were rowing in one direction, and a group of ninja in the other._

"Well now I do."

"Who are you people, and what do you want?" Bo-BoBo snapped. "And most importantly, do you have any BEN-GAY BECAUSE MY HINNIE REALLY ITCHES!"

"Bo-BoBo, Ben-Gay isn't for your butt!"

"You are in the way of our mission," a tall thin ninja with his headband covering one eye and a cloth mouth piece over his face said. He had long gray hair and seemed very aloof.

A short chubby ninja with blonde hair and what looked like whiskers on his face stood up and laughed at his teacher, "That's Kakashi-Sensei to a tee, believe it!"

"Naruto, sit down and shut up," Kakashi snapped, forcing his pupil to the boat. He turned the author and pointed, "And you stop making accurate descriptions of me."

"Now just a second, I was about to pass down righteous judgment on this man," Don Patch snapped. "There can't be this many cameos in one chapter, it would take too long to do, and then my agent, spinningcannon would be very unhappy."

_**Spinningcannon hasn't even returned your calls YET!**_

"So, it doesn't mean that they'll never return them." He turned to Kakashi, who was pulling back his headband to reveal.

"What is Bo-BoBo doing in his eye?" Beauty screeched.

"What, AGH, GET HIM OUT, GET HIM OUT, GET HIM OUT!" Kakashi danced around like a buffoon, until the ultimate defender of all things hairy wiggled free from the eye.

"That was gross," Bo-BoBo said. "It didn't even sale any undies my size in there."

_With the explosions of a thousand white hot suns, Kakashi blew up, _and_ left nothing but a cute little doll of himself resting in Naruto's boat._

"Why did he explode into a doll?" Sakura asked. _Shaa, he's so cute that way. Of course not as cute as my Sasuke._ The pink haired girl turned to her idol, and at the same time looked at two equally pink haired women staring at him, as he stood to defend his fallen master.

"You know Yumi, that ninja dude over there is really kinda cute," Ami said as they rowed up to a flopping Kaz.

"Hey, why am I flopping like a fishie?" Kaz asked.

_**Bitch slaps Kaz Shut up you.**_

_The will of the author is GREAT!_

"Owwiiee," Kaz moaned.

_By this time even the little heroine of the Bo-BoBo series had to admit that Sasuke was cute, and even said so._

"You know, I never realized how cute Sasuke is."

"NOOOOOOO! You can't have him. Neither of you can have him," Sakura screeched, leaping onto the body of Sasuke. "My Sasuke, mine, mine, MINE!" Sakura and Sasuke plummeted to the water in what seemed like a watery death.

"Ah, you killed my friends," Naruto cried. The boy moved his hands around and in a puff of smoke became a thousand different Narutos.

"Trying to gang up on me, eh?" Bo-BoBo snapped. "Well Snot To-Day. Snot Boggie, machine gun, rapid fire attack!" The hero lifted his chin, and thousands of booger soldiers flailed from his nostrils, striking all of the shadow clones.

_Meanwhile Don Patch was still stuck in mid air, hovering over a cowering Kaz. _

"Will you hurry up all ready, I'm getting craps!" With the motion of the wind, the ninja star shot to his prey, and sent him spiraling up into the sky with a round house kick. The poor man screeched and reached for the nearest thing he could find, a fluffy cloud, but dropped as his hands slipped through it.

"Sorry," Goku cried. "You can only hold on to Nimbus if you have a PURE heart." The Saiyin flew far away, as Kaz dropped onto the boat yet again. A cackling Don Patch tied him down with jelly, and shook his fist at the author.

"No more cameos this chapter already; I want a staring role here!"

_**Thou hast angered the spirits of the author, and his number one fans of his other stories! Now thou must pay the price!**_

_Poor Don Patch and Kaz were overwhelmed by the power of Vanguard Ziggy's number one fans from lead by TheShoelessOne, who were all mostly female. They tied the two up and forced them to watch the most chick flickest chick flicks of Japan of all time!_

"NOOOO," Kaz wailed. "Not Nana the Movie!"

"Hey, wait a minute," Beauty said, turning her attention to "That movie hasn't even been released yet, and besides, why aren't Bo-BoBo and Naruto fighting anymore?"

_It was true, the two heroes sat in front of a table eating Ramen and veggie burgers._

"Beauty, violence is not the answer to everything," Bo-BoBo said. "NOT WHEN YOU CAN HAVE AN EATING CONTEST!"

Yumi held a white flag over the contestants and pulled it down. "Pig Out!" she cried.

"This does not make sense!" Beauty whimpered.

"It's not supposed to make sense," Sasuke said, watching the contestants devour their food silly. He looked down at a gasping, giggling Sakura and sighed. "All right, this has gone on far enough."

"What?" Beauty asked.

Bo-BoBo stood in front of Sakura and yanked her off Sasuke's leg with his nose hairs. He reached up and pulled off her face, to reveal premier Japanese Cosplay player, Jan Kurotaki. "Where's Sakura?"

Giggling, she said, "My Sasuke, my Sasuke, mine, mine, MINE!"

"I see," Bo-BoBo said.

"You see what?" Yumi asked.

Bo-BoBo walked over to Beauty and tore her head off, revealing it to be a mask, and there was Sakura.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Don Patch groaned.

_And so another adventure concludes, Bo-BoBo and Naruto tied in their eating contest. Jan Kurotaki was sent back to Japan, weeping over the Sasuke she would never have, Don Patch and Kaz learned their lessons about questioning the will of the author._

"But I never questioned his will," Don Patch whined. A brick dropped from the sky and knocked him out.

_Quiet you._ _Puffy AmiYumi went on to become rock goddess. But what happened to Goku?_

"Man, if I had known there was a food contest down there, I would have had a bigger role in this chapter," the Saiyin hero cried.

_And what about Beauty? If Sakura was really Beauty in disguise where did our heroine really go?_

"You idiots left me in Robot City," Beauty roared, looking at the screen. She glared at Fender and shook her head. "I'm still not going on a date with you."

_And let's not forget the biggest questions of all! How did the author get an advanced copy of Nana the Movie, and why was it even mentioned, seeing as how he despises that manga! And then where are Ed and Al?_

"Welcome to McDonald's can I take your order?"

Ed looked at the screen, his eyes squinting. "Hmmm. I don't know, everything looks pretty good, what do you say Ed?"

"First Vanguard Ziggy has Rots stuff guinea pigs in me in her fan fiction, The Mirror of Torment, and then he has us miss the last chapter, and NOW THIS! BROTHER STOP BEING AN IDOIT AND ORDER SOMETHING! I'M A SUIT OF ARMOR, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT TASTES GOOD?"

Ed looks at Al, smiles and nods at the drive through computer screen. "He has a point. So I'll just take one of everything."

"WHAT, BROTHER WE DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY!"

"Sure we do." Ed transmutates Al's beloved kitten collection into gold bars, and uses them as money.

"CURSE YOU VANGUARD ZIGGY!"

_Will Al's curse come true? Will Vanguard Ziggy have to buy a new computer because his old one's monitor is breaking off? Where is Waldo? For the answers to these and other pressing questions, tune in to the next exciting adventures of… THE BOBOBO FILES! (The theme to the X-Files plays and Bo-BoBo and Beauty stand in the last credits dressed in F.B.I. uniforms)._

_**So, is it still funny? What did you think? Oh, and stop by Rots fan fic, The Mirror of Torment, a FullMetal Alchemist story. It has given me a lot of inspiration, in case you couldn't tell. LOL. Just tell her that Vanguard Ziggy sent you. **_


	4. Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Tea

_**Ziggy's Corner: Okay chapter five. I hope everyone has enjoyed reading this, because I'm enjoying writing them. I wish I could go on-line weekly and update, but since I can't I hope these multi-numerous updates packs feed you B0BOBO Files appetite**_

_When last we left our heroes, Bo-BoBo, Beauty, and Don Patch confronted a man who they thought was an agent for King Baldy Bald, but in reality was just a stiff cheap balding agent of a rock and roll band._

"Hey, who are you calling balding?" Kaz snapped.

_Then they came across a squad of ninja, and after a tussle decided to bring their differences aside by the age old challenge of a Ramen eating contest. Our young challenger was strong but he was no match for our Bodacious defender of hair, and went down in defeat._

"Hey, Naruto and Bo-BoBo tied," Sakura snapped.

_Then we discovered that Beauty was really Sakura in disguise, and that Sakura was really Jan Kurotaki, Cosplayer extraordinaire. _

"I'm still getting threatening love notes from her," Sasuke groaned.

_So after retrieving Beauty from Robot City, what's next in store for our heroes as they continue to battle the evil? Let's find out now! In episode 4, The Great, the Beautiful, and the Hairy!_

Beauty had heard enough. "That is so not what that says in Japanese," she shouted, pointing at the few Japanese words that had popped up on the screen, though not seen on page, because the author can't write in Japanese.

Bo-BoBo walked through the tall grass, his glasses eyes focused on a large boat, just resting in the harbor. Don Patch walked next to him, sensing his tension and blinked.

"Hey Bo?" he asked.

"Yeah?" Bo-BoBo turned to look at the ninja star and screeched like a little girl as a mud pie splattered him straight in the face.

"Mud pie nothing; that was all grade manure!" Don Patch said, glaring at the author.

"Why on Earth did you do that!" Beauty cried, her eyes bulging out of her skull. They

grew even larger as Bo-BoBo began licking it from his face. "WHAT ON EARTH!"

"Chocolate, my favorite."

"CHOCOLATE? BUT DON PATCH SAID IT WAS MANURE!" Beauty nearly passed out, but was caught in the arms of a thin man wearing colonial clothing, who was very confused at her clothing.

"That is very odd clothing miss, are you from another country?" He was blonde, with light blue eyes, and a ponytail. He also had a brown vest, and pants. Helping her to her feet he nearly had to catch her again, when she spied where they were.

"That kind of looks like Boston, from old history books," she said, blinking her eyes.

"I don't know about the history books, but that _is_, Boston. I was just preparing to write a report about what happened the other night on a British ship carrying boxes of tea." He bowed and extended his hand, "My name is James Hawkins," he said.

"British ships carrying tea?" Beauty frowned and stroked her chin. "Wait, what year is it?"

"1775, miss," James said. He looked at her as if she had bumped her head.

"Tea?" Bo-BoBo asked. "TEA?" He threw his head into the air and screamed at the top of his lungs, "TEEEEAAAAAA!"

_Little did our reporter friend and Beauty know of our Bodacious hero's love of tea, especially RASBERRY TEA. Although personally I enjoy a good cup of ice laced cappuccino. _

James frowned, "Who was that speaking? And what's _raspberry _tea or ice laced cappuccinos?"

"You are so lucky of your ignorance," the pink haired cutie sighed.

Bo-BoBo quickly began dancing oddly, and then turned into a yellow afro wearing Indian, charging up one of the British ships, howling and wailing like a goof ball. Don Patch was right behind him, swing a mace, why he was swinging one or how he got one know one knows, but swinging it he was. Then in the blink of an eye, the star shaped hero transformed into a handsome stallion, and a gallant Bo-BoBo, wearing a velvety white shirt dashed off to battle the great evil.

"The great evil? What great evil?" Beauty screeched, nearly blowing James' ear drums out.

"I really would not call that animal handsome, or a stallion," James said, looking at the sickly mule that Don Patch had transformed himself into.

"So I got dipped into the tobacco fields too much, sue me!" the orange mule snapped, riding of to the ship. By then they had nearly reached it, and as they gazed up, they saw not redcoats standing on the deck, but a number of King Baldy Bald's men, cackling as the heroes approached.

"Wait, what are THEY DOING HERE!" Beauty cried.

"And why are they on a British commerce ship," a red headed young lady in clown makeup and dressed only in her unmentionables asked.

"Sarah! What the hell?" James' eyes nearly popped out of his head, though not nearly as large as Beauty or her friends, because let's face it, he's not an anime character.

"I say, this is MOST UNDECENT!" Sarah yelled, covering her undergarments.

"Sarah what are you going?" Henri asked, munching on one of Don Patch's special treats."

"OH MY GAWD!" Beauty screamed, "That cake really IS manure!"

_The short French lad looked down at his snack and felt his heart explode at the sight of cow dookie that had been stuffing into his face._

"Sacre Blue," Henri cried. A second later he exploded.

"Henri!" his friends screamed.

Bo-BoBo made his way up the plank, and together, he and Don Patch made quick work of King Baldy Bald's henchmen. The problem was their leader, who was using a stone hair cut to bash and bruise our favorite heroes, until Benjamin Franklin stomped up to the battle scene, and brought out a large kite.

"Excuse me sir, would you mind holding this for me?" he asked with a smile.

"Well, yeah, I guess," StoneHead Bonkers said. The villain took the string and screeched like a little infant as the kite took him into orbit, where he was struck by a meteor and came crashing down like a little booger.

"Wait, he had a piece of stone on his head, how could he have been lifted by a kite?" Sarah Philips asked, now dressed completely in leather. "And how am I getting into these different clothes, honestly this suit is really chaffing very badly!"

"Blame the author," Beauty shined, lowering her head.

"Now see here, what author do you mean, and why am I dressed in this crazy dress?" She was now dressed as a flapper in 1920's attire.

"Blame the author," the spikey haired kid said, scaring the shit out of both women.

"Wait, how did you get here?" Beauty asked, clutching her light pink hair.

"Don't know," he said, eating a hot dog. Then he imploded and spread love and joy all over the world.

"What the HELL?" James groaned.

"James, stop with the profanity," Benjamin said. "And Sarah, stop dressing in such outlandish clothing."

"It's not my fault, its witchcraft," the young girl wailed.

"I LOVE WITCHES!" Bo-BoBo yelled, flying over head on a broomstick, dressed all in black.

"HALLOWEEN!" Don Patch cried pumping his fist in joy.

_At that moment, StoneHead reappeared and cursed all tea in the land to be bitter and dry._

"What, NOOOOOOOOO!" Bo-BoBo leapt off his broom and used his fist full of armpit hair to pummel the villain into submission, and then landed on the floor in mariachi clothes, singing in Spanish.

_However, the light from his power was so strong it illuminated Benjamin's bald head and glasses, and multi-layered lights flashed over the entire countryside._

"Oh my God," one of the villagers cried in alarm. "Franklin's created a monster!"

"Its Disco!" one of them wailed. "No, no I'm not ready for this!"

"What's going on?" Henri asked, appearing out of no where. He was crushed seconds later by panicking villagers, chasing Franklin out of Boston, and right into some redcoats, who opened fire, and killed everyone, except for Bo-BoBo and Beauty.

"My God, Disco has killed EVERYONE!"

The First Continental Congress quickly convened, burned Franklin and his records at the stake, -- "Ah, we're melting," the records cried – and declared war on England. Soon the war came to an end, as the spikey haired kid's dust turned into glittering waves of giddness, but unfortunately that didn't happen for another three hundred years. Before that, the War of Independence quickly became the first world war, and burned the ground to a husk, until Coop and his Megas XLR quickly came to the rescue and brought our friends back to their proper time.

"Wait, I'm confused, why was Megas in this chapter?" Beauty asked. An anvil struck her on her head and she fell fast asleep.

_The will of the author is great!_ _Later they all woke up, and studied the history books. The American Revolution started in 1775 because of lack of Rasberry flavored tea, and when it ended, in 1820 James Hawkins was made supreme chancellor of the earth, and the first Jedi Master. _

"Oh cripes, what have we done!" Beauty cried, reading from the book.

"Oh hush now, Beauty and drink your nice, delicious, dry cursed tea," Bo-BoBo said, in a very bad British accent.

_Will Bo-BoBo ever learn how to speak correctly again? Will Coop be forced to go back in time and fix the timeline?_

"Yeah, right after my mega cooler, smoothie," the blonde hero with an appetite to match his robot said.

"In short, the world is doomed," Kiva groaned.

"Now wait," Jamie asked in a cockneyed accent, "why are so many animated women given red or pink hair nowadays?" A flying elephant dropped a huge stinking pile of poo on his head.

_What will James do with his new found powers? AND WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS EVER END! Honestly people, please let someone else write a Bo-BoBo fic, I think Vanguard Ziggy is crazy! _ The elephant came around for the narrator. _AHHHHHHHHHH! Never mind what I said, please, please read this story! Anyway, stay tuned for the next exciting adventures of, THE BOBOBO FILES!_


	5. 3 teletubbies, tetsuigai, and a wedding

**_Ziggy's Corner: Okay, I now have six reviews! One past five, so that means I have a hit here. Of course this is only for the first _**two**_ chapters, so hopefully I continue to have a hit after these chapters are updated. Again right as I know it, there is only my Bo story, so that could also help, it will be interesting to see how this thirty year old dude's story evolves when there are more stories on the Bo-BoBo link. Anyway AnimeDutches, you get your long awaited wish, InuYasha and a few of his characters are in this chapter._**

_**And now to my new reviewers:**_

_**LiStEn2UrHrArT2: I hope that these five chapter updates will be found by you to be just as humorous. But dang! Still no laughing until milk comes from somebody's nose! Oh well, I'll just have to take the love!**_

**_Crazy-as-hell: LOL great another fan with a name that makes them sound like their nuts! Hopefully no one is planning on ripping my clothes of to sell on the internet. I know how it is to be up so early and get hyper. As you saw in chapter three, the Naruto cast debuted here, but don't despair, you may just see more of them in the future._**

_**And now on with the SHOW!**_

_In our last episode of the BoBoBo files, our heroes, Bo-BoBo and Beauty somehow managed to travel in the past, and run into a young newspaper man, who would later become one of the greatest Jedi of all time._

"I want a lawyer," Anakin Skywalker demanded. Someone strapped a rocket to his back and he was sent off into deep space without an oxygen suit. Anakin exploded.

_A talented robot driver saved our heroes and quickly returned to the past to fix their mistake, but not before Bo-BoBo and Benjamin Franklin beat King Baldy Bald's henchmen to toast. Unfortunately Franklin became toast when he was accused of creating Disco, and in the end, our heroes settled down to a nice refreshing cup of tea._

"And it only cost us fifty pounds, plus shipping tax," Bo-BoBo said. "BUT I STILL WISH SOMEONE COULD HAVE BROUGHT BACK RASBERRY TEA," he and his uvula wept. A uvula is the thing in the back of your throat that vibrates when you talk, and causes you to puck if it's touched.

"I hate being touched, what can I say," his shade wearing uvula snapped. "Especially when Bo-BoBo's tonsils try using me as a punching bag!" His tonsils tried it yet again, and the dynamic little flesh device beat the crap out of them.

Beauty ignored the insanity of the day, still trying to figure out how the Spikey haired kid had managed to return back to his normal form after exploding into happy dust.

"The will of the author is great," he said. He looked at the pink haired cutie, who put her hands to her lips, and the two slowly slid together, caught in each other's embrace, about to kiss when the narrator intervened.

_HEY, this fic may be rated K+ right now, even if the author meant it to be a T, but even as a T this fic is being read by young people, so knock it off you two!_

"Hey, you threw water on us," the Spikey haired kid shouted as water drenched him from hair to foot.

"That wasn't nice," Beauty snapped,

"That's absolutely correct!" Bo-BoBo growled. From out of no where the hero picked up a massive bowl and held it high over head. "EVERYONE KNOWS THAT WHEN YOUNG LOVERS ARE ABOUT TO KISS, YOU THROW PUUUUUDDDDDDIIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG ON THEMMMMMMM!"

"Wait, that's only if we get married," the spikey haired kid protested. Suddenly the two were dressed in wedding garments, and there the entire cast of Bo-BoBo sat in the pews, crying their hearts out.

"It's so beautiful," Bo-BoBo sniffed.

"Yeah, well I always cry at Bar Mitzvah's," Don Patch wept. They hugged and tossed pudding at the two love birds.

"We're not LOVE BIRDS," Beauty wailed, "And we haven't gotten married!"

"So now SIT!" The Spikey haired kid shouted.

A white haired teen, with dog ears, and wielding a large sword dropped from the sky, and landed face first into pudding.

"Ah man, that mean's he gets to be married next," a disappointed, sobbing Bo-BoBo said. "I'll never get to be a BRIDE!"

The newcomer rose to his feet and glared, "What the HELL! Aren't you a guy? And what the hell is going on here? I was just in the fight of my life with Naraku, how did I end up here?"

An evil laugh filled the valley and a large, spidery man swept down on them all. "Now InuYasha, I can finally finish you off." But before he could manage to pull out his next attack, Beauty screeched, pointing a finger at the villain, and Naraku turned into PeeWee Herman.

"Oh God no!" Miroku cried, "She created a worse monster!"

"Thank you Beauty," Pee-Wee laughs in a nasally voice, "Now I can use the Shikon Jewel Shards to force children to buy my merchandise!"

"No, that's horrible," Beauty cried, and then frowned. "Um, why are you rubbing my butt?" she asked Miroku.

"You worthless pervert," a naked Sango screamed. The nude demon hunter leapt out of the shadows, and beat Pee-Wee to death using Miroku's body. "Wait, why am I naked?"

"Well, why not be? Will you have my children now?" a very happy Miroku asked.

The author blushed and quickly made good his mistake, dressing Sango in very fine, demon hunting clothes. **_Sorry Sango_**.

_Unfortunately, as Sango was busy slapping the author silly, Pee-Wee/Naraku was changing into his most hideous form yet! A form so insidious, so horrible that preschool children have been cowering in front of television sets around the world for the last fifteen years!_

Barney the Purple Dinosaur giggled, "Who wants a hug!"

Everyone shot to their feet, and screamed no at the same time. "I'll take care of this menace once and for all!" Bo-BoBo yelled. The blonde afro hero rushed into action, taking off his pants, and revealing one of his most unique attacks. "Hairy legs of Fury!"

_The evil dinosaur laughed at the attack, battling along side his minions, who were once Kohaku, and Kagura, and Kanna who had now turned into three of the four Teletubbies. Why the fourth one wasn't there, no one seems to know, but I personally think that Dipsy was too busy hugging that darn vacuum cleaner of theirs too much. _

"This has gone on long enough," InuYasha shouted. Pulling the Tetsusaiga out, the long white haired hero rushed into battle with the other hero, but was stopped by a familiar cry.

"Sit boy," Kagome said.

"Wait minute, why am I not falling to the ground?" InuYasha asked in a low whisper. He turned to look at Kagome, and his eyes tapped danced out of his head. "YOU'RE NOT KAGOME!"

"How could you tell?" Bo-BoBo asked, standing there in Kagome's clothes. He looked at his chest and blinked. "I didn't use enough tissue paper, is that it?"

"Tissue paper? My breasts aren't that big!" Kagome came out of no where and shot an arrow at Bo-BoBo, and might have struck him dead, if it hadn't been for his afro opening up, with a tiny version of himself holding a mirror and deflecting the arrow back at the evil.

_Naked demon slayers? Heroes using tissue paper in their bras? Girls with big breasts? My pardon sir, but you really need to make this a T rated story. _Anvil drops on Narrator's head. _Ouch._

_**I know that you Dofus, I meant to make it a T but the computer slipped and made it a K+ instead. Now back with the story! And no more interruptions!**_

Naraku and his evil henchmen blew up into cotton pieces and the day was saved. Or it would have been had Naraku hadn't turned back into his evil form yet again.

"Hah, nothing can stop me, nothing!" he said with a gloat.

Suddenly an elderly woman opened a door in Bo-BoBo's hair and jiggled her finger. "Naraku, you come inside this minute and stop trying to take over the world!"

"Aw mom," the great villain groaned.

"No groans young man, or I'll send you to live with Aunt Vivian!" at this the great evil monster roared with terror, and quickly rushed into Bo-BoBo's hair. Our hero quickly took his afro off, and drop kicked it into space, where it exploded right where Anakin had been at the beginning of the story.

"Wait, I don't understand, how did Bo-BoBo know Naraku's mother lived in his hair?" Beauty asked.

"It wasn't my hair," he chuckled, turning around, re-froed. "That was my Bo-tastic, Bo-bambard mommy clone attack!"

"Oh!" everyone said.

"Besides everyone know his mother lives inside my nose!"

"Your nose!" Beauty screeched.

"Sure, its roomy, got good rent, and Naraku's aunt Vivian is the one who lives in the left nostril."

"Well duh, everyone knows that," InuYasha said.

"You did not," Kagome snapped. "Now sit boy," she yelled.

Both InuYasha and Bo-BoBo dropped on their faces and the girl had to do a double take. "I didn't know that would work on him too," she whispered.

"IT DIDN'T, I JUST LIKE THE TASTE OF THIS DIRT!" Bo-BoBo laughed insanely.

_Will Bo-BoBo ever get tired of eating dirt? Will Naraku have to go live with his Aunt Vivian in Bo-BoBo's left nostril?_

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Naraku cried. "They don't get cable in that side!"

"Tell me about it," his uncle moaned.

"We get digital cable up here," the squirrels giggled.

_Are Beauty and the Spikey haired Kid really married, and if so, is Beauty going to get an annulment?_

"What do you think?" Beauty asked the Narrator, scowling.

"WHAT! Ah man, but I just opened up all these really cool wedding gifts," the spikey haired kid groaned.

_Will Vanguard Ziggy ever change the rating of this story? Er wait, we already know the answer to that. Sorry boss. But the biggest questions of all is, why is he still single, and what happened to Ed AND AL!_

"GREAT! We missed another chapter thanks to you brother!" Al moaned. "I told you to ask for directions, but NOOOO not you."

"Shut up Al," his brother growled.

"Now look where we are! Straight in the middle of Barstow, California!" Al whined and whined. "It's so boring here."

"Why didn't I just let the spirits take you?" Ed groaned.

_Stay tuned for the answers in the next exciting episode of, THE BOBOBO FILES! And really, why is this story called The BOBOBO Files, I mean has anyone seen any files? _A nuclear bomb drops on the narrator. _OWWWWWWIIIIEEEEEEE!_

_**Kay, another one bites the dust! I hope everyone is still enjoying this!**_


	6. Roll 'Dem Bones, Don Patch

**_Ziggy's Corner: Okay chapter six is here, so far, I hope everyone has had fun! spinningcannon, you are getting your wish on this one, because on this one, it is a totally Don Patch chapter. Well, Gasser – the Spikey Haired Kid – is seen too, and Bo-BoBo makes a brief cameo, but that's it. Promise, totally Don Patch._** Don Patch pumps his fist in victory. **_Don't too cocky you. Anyway, on with the show!_**

_In our last exciting episode, our Bo-Dacious, Bo-Dadical, Do-Diddly protector of human hair rights, Bo-BoBo and friends gathered for a wedding, only for it to be interrupted by an evil demon and a few of his adversaries. After an intense battle, Beauty and Gasser quickly annulled their marriage. . .,_

"Waaahaaahaa," Gasser cried.

"Wait, how do you know his name is Gasser? He hasn't been mentioned in the anime yet," Beauty said.

_The Manga listed all of the characters, and showed him with gas for a weapon._

"Ew, no wonder I annulled him," Beauty said, sticking out her tongue, ignoring the further pained cries of the Spikey Hai…, er, Gasser.

_Bo-BoBo's do quickly fell in love with InuYasha's pearly white locks, and another marriage was arranged._

"What the hell?" InuYasha wailed.

_Unfortunately that too was revoked when the new moon rose and his white hair was shed for long silky black hair._

"Waahaaahaaa," Bo-BoBo's hair cried.

_But where was Don Patch in all of this? Is our Ninja Star friend gone forever, will he never again appear?_

"Dream on," Don Patch groaned, carrying a large stash of presents. "Beauty sent me back to town to return all of the wedding gifts."

_And so with that in mind, let's see how he's doing!_

Don Patch grunted and groaned as he dragged the large package from store to store. With each return it simply got more and more irritating too. "Couldn't they have at least given me a gift certificate," he whined, pulling the bag. "No, I have to carry this large stash of…" he stopped for a moment and smiled. "Cash."

_Before the wicked little sidekick could think of doing anything rock he tripped over a large rock and rolled all the way down a large hill, busting the remainder gifts, and scattering all of the money into the wind._

"I'm not a sidekiiicccccckkkkkkk!" he shouted, falling until he bumped his head on a rock and passed out.

When he woke up there was a light over his head and he had to smile. "Heaven. . ., I'm in Heaven! Hah, I knew even God had to get confused with bureaucratic red tape!" He leapt and did a happy snoopy dance, before he realized he was on a slab in some kind of medical ward. "Wait, what's going on?"

"Bones, this piece of victim is talking," said a nicely dressed man in an F.B.I. suit.

"Piece of VICTIM!" Don Patch leapt up and looked all over to see what had happened; only to see that he had truly was all there. "Hey look pal, I'm no victim here. And why do you look like you're in 3-D!"

"BONES!" Seeley Booth screeched, leaping away from the ninja star.

An attractive young forensic anthropologist stormed forward and looked at the F.B.I. agent. "How many times have I told you not to call me Bones?" Temperance Brennan snapped. "Now what are you babbling on about?"

"Hot Damn, you're good looking," Don Patch said, running his hands over his points and flatting them.

_In a very sexy voice, Don Patch attempted to woo the young woman, only to have her smack him off the table, and give him a major boo boo on his head._

"Ow, what a boo boo," Don Patch groaned, holding his head. "And what a woman! You know cutie, I have a stash of dough somewhere near the city, want to help me spend it?"

Seeley Booth picked up the ninja star and stared at him with fierce intensity. "So, you're some kind of alien thief or something?"

"I don't know what you would call me sailor, but if your looking for a late evening on the town, I'm your girl," Don said, wearing lipstick and make up and a dress. "I'm ready for my close up, Mr. Daville." Don reached up and kissed Seeley straight on the lips, and was promptly dropped by the agent, who pulled out his gun.

"Okay, I don't know what you are," he groaned, "but I've had enough of it."

"Wait, Booth, this might be some kind of asexual new species," Brennan said, grabbing the agent's arm and twisting it so he dropped the gun. They looked at each other for a few minutes and in the twist of the situation held each other and began to kiss, as they sat in their boat in the middle of a sparkling lake.

"Sparkling lake? What the hell? Weren't we just in the office?" Seeley asked. "And why am I dressed like Bret Butler?"

_As they stared at each other, moving music floated up over the fields, and the audience began to pat their teary eyes._

"Seeley," Temperance said in a strong Southern accent, "you mustn't leave me. I've decided it's been you I've been in love with all this time."

"It's too little, too late for that Temperance, I'm going," Seeley said, turning toward the door.

"The door, wait, weren't they on a boat in a lake?" Angie asked.

"Shush," Don Patch said, dressed in a tuxedo, "you're ruining to mood." He looked at the hot artist and held up some pop corn. "Want some?"

"Thanks," she said, helping herself to the ten ton bag.

"No, No Seeley, you mustn't," Temperance cried, trying to hold on to Booth's tuxedo. "Please, what will become of me?"

Seeley looked at the woman, her eyes twinkling with hope and despair at the same time and finally pulled away from her. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a poo." He opened the door and walked through it, and was back in the office. "What the hell?"

"Aw man, that was a total rip," Angie groaned.

"I've seen lots better fella," Don Patch snarled, dressed in a director's uniform. "That was totally lack of enthusiasm!"

"I don't know what's going on here, but I want answers," turning to Angie he frowned, "And why are you taking PICTURES OF THIS THING!"

"Wait, why are you talking in caps?" Temperance asked, walking through the door, totally bald. "Oh my Gawd, I'm totally BALD!"

"King Baldy Bald!" Don Patch realized.

_And it was! Well, not the king exactly but another of his goons who had followed the ninja star into this world of 3-D. A short, shady character with cat eyes and clippers for fingers walked toward, cackling._

"JONNY DEPP!" Don Patch cried.

"Hey, you could get sued for that kind of character license without permission," the goon snapped. "My name is Danny Clippydigits! And now all of you are going to lose your hair!"

He rushed forward, cackling and snipping with his fingers, shaving Don Patch and Seeley Booth both bald, before he could be stopped by a massive cloud of explosive gas.

"Oh sure, MAKE HIM THE HERO!" Don Patch screamed, pointing at Gasser. "I'm going to tell my agent on you for this!"

_**spinningcannon has STILL not called you back yet, you little goof.**_

"I'm wasting good minutes on this cell phone here, but I don't care!" Don Patch said, his hair turning to points and his body surrounding his head closer until he was nothing but a throwing star. "Well I'm not going to wait for them to get mad at you, Spinning star of checheroes!"

"You misspelled that word," Gasser said.

"I don't care right now!" the ninja star snapped. With the speed of light he hit Danny Clippyclop . . .

"Clippydigits!"

… Clippydigits, with such power that it sent the villain all the way back to the series.

"But I never made it to either the series or the Magna!" the goon cried, disappearing off in the distance in a shimmering star.

"Wait; wasn't the star guy shaved too?" Temperance asked, trying on a wig.

"True, but I'm a ninja star, so I really don't have any hair to cut!" Don Patch said with a wide grin.

"Why the hell were only Temperance and I shaved?" Seeley groaned.

_That's easy, because Angie is so darn HOT!_

"Thank you announcer guy," the spicy young woman said, playing with her own natural curls.

"I don't understand, why was Gasser even mentioned," Temperance asked.

_The will of the author is GREAT!_

"Hold up a minute," Seeley said, storming to a, until now, unseen closed closet door.

_Stay away from the door, focus on the page!_

Seeley ripped the door open, and there was . . . Angie, sitting behind a computer desk, with a microphone in her hand.

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

"The narrator got sick, so I thought I'd help him out in this chapter," she said with her cute little grin.

"But if you're here? Then who is . . ., WHAT IS DON PATCH DOING WITH THAT OTHER ANGIE!"

"Who this?" Don Patch asked. "Oh this is my Angie bot. She's come in handy when I just have a chapter to myself and want a sidekick."

"That makes sense," Gasser said, holding the bag of money that Don Patch had tried to skip town with in the beginning of the chapter. "By the way, I found this in the forest by the town. I've taken the liberty of sending all the people who have given us wedding gifts their money back."

"WaaaaaHaaaaaaahaaaaa," Don Patch cried.

_Will Don Patch ever get another chapter to himself? Will we see the Angie bot used again? Is Gone with the Wind Seeley's favorite movie? And will the remake he was in ever win as many Oscars are the original!_

"Angie, what are you doing?" Temperance sighed.

_I've explained in the beginning of this page, please pay attention. And that being said, will Temperance EVER pay attention? And what happened to our favorite hero and defender of hair, Bo-BoBo?_

"I give this chapter a thumbs down, the scenes were realistic but Don Patch was too dry in his acting."

"WAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHAAAAAAAAA!" Don Patch wailed yet again.

"Well I think it was okay, just so long as Vanguard Ziggy didn't charge these people for this chapter, so thumbs up," Beauty said with a little uncertainty.

_**No, no I didn't charge anyone anything! Turns away from the camera Ten dollars and fifty cents, ten dollars and seventy five cents, oh someone paid in advance, that's twenty dollars . . .**_

_Will the fans of this fanfic still flock to Vanguard Ziggy? What IS the great evil, and will Bo-BoBo ever defeat it?_

"The Great Evil wasn't even MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER BY ANYONE!" Beauty cried.

_Until now. So dear readers, for the answer to this and all other questions tune in to the next exciting chapter of The BOBOBO FILES!_

"How did I do daddy?" Angie asked, turning to her father, the real narrator of the fanfic.

_SniffsThat's my baby girl sniffs sniffs._

_**Well I hope every one is having fun, because God knows, I'm having a ball! See ya for chapter seven!**_


	7. War and Peace in Space

_**Ziggy's Corner: Okay chapter seven! I hope I'm still on the ball with this series, because I've had a blast writing it, and I have many, many ideas for numerous other chapters. This could be my longest story of all time Anyone who wants to have me put in more cameos, just name the show, movie, book, anime, cartoon, etc. and if I know them or get bored, or you describe them as best you can, go for it. I'm a nice dude, for a thirty year old. Anyway, on with the show! 7 chapters, seven reviews.**_

_**Masterful Foxboy A. Keysoonaer: Heck, there's a name not easily forgotten. Rest assured, I intend to keep going. **_

_When last we left our heroes, Don Patch had gone to the city to return the wedding gifts Beauty and Gasser were given, and give the nice folks their money back. Unfortunately he suffered a spot of greed, and a really nasty boo boo, and was considered bone fragment by Seeley Booth and Temperance Brennan, who he then cast in a remake of Gone with the Wind, which received many negative reviews, and ruined either persons chances at a movie career._

"Curse you Don Patch," the two main characters, both still bald, from Bones cried out.

_One of King Baldy Bald's henchmen followed Don Patch to the city, and a fight ensued that left Seeley and Brennan balder than a baby's little bottom._

"They already know that, do you have to rub it in?" Temperance growled.

_With the help of Gasser, Don Patch neatly took care of the fiend, and enjoyed his nearly complete chapter all to himself, leaving the scene to prepare for his second film, a remake of Casablanca. _

"I'm doing a sci-fi version of it, and putting in lots of zombies for special effects," he said as he sipped a soda by a Hollywood hotel pool. The ninjettes surrounded him and giggled as they rubbed suntan lotion in.

_Alright enough of that, let's let him wake up and start the episode. _

"NOOOO, I was just about to get one of their phone numbers!" Don Patch woke up and looked around his surroundings. Everything was black, with the exception of numerous little twinkling stars.

"Where are we?" he asked.

"For some reason Bo-BoBo decided he wanted to know what it would be like to be a star, so he jacked a ship," Beauty sighed. "But that's not like him, why would he steal something?"

"I didn't steal anything," Bo-BoBo said, floating in space, dressed as a star. "I told that NASA guy that if he would let us borrow this ship, I'd name myself after him."

"Bo-BoBo, where is your air helmet!" Beauty screeched, her eyes growing the size of hot dogs.

"Are you out of your MIND YOU CAN'T BREATHE IN SPACE!" Don Patch said. "At least not without Spacial Cookie dough," he turned to the audience and smiled, holding a can of cookie dough, "yes Spacial Cookie dough, now in special pizza flavor. Remember no cookie is really a stellar cookie unless it's been made with Spacial Cookie dough."

"Oh for crying out loud, this is stupid!" Beauty cried. "I thought we were on our way to battle King Baldy Bald, not name ourselves after some NASA guy, or sell cookie dough. AND PIZZA FLAVORED COOKIES!"

Don Patch grinned and held up a new can, "Now with extra pepperoni!"

"Who eats pizza flavored COOKIES?"

Just then Gasser walked in, chewing on one of the cookies, "Hey, these are pretty good. They kind of give me indigestion though."

"Oh I give up," Beauty groaned.

"Beauty, that's no way to talk," Bo-BoBo snapped.

_Our Bodacious hero floated in space, his body shinning in the eternal night, right along with his boogers, when suddenly a ship spun passed him and sent him flying toward the sun! Oh is this it? Is Bo-BoBo doomed to a life as a crispy critter? Will Beauty ever be the same again!_

"Yo, narrator, get a grip," Bo-BoBo said, sitting at the control center of the ship, dressed in captain's clothing.

"HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!" Beauty screeched.

"Never mind," Bo-BoBo roared. He flipped a few buttons and spun the space shuttle toward the ship that nearly hit him. "We have a fight to win."

"Yeah, well maybe its time you learned who you picked a fight with," a teenage, rebellious voice snapped on the intercom.

_A computer screen slid down across their window shield, even though none of them could figure out how it happened. . .,_

Bo-BoBo, Beauty, Don Patch, and Gasser looked at the screen, "How did that happen?"

they asked.

"My name is Yamamoto Yohko, and I'm the head pilot of Terra, and since you've entered a designated war zone, I'm assuming that you want a fight!" She was tan, with green cat like eyes, and a spunky spirit.

"Yohko, don't get too overzealous," a redheaded man who seemed to be her superior, or at least overseer.

"Oh come on Lawson, calm down at let me do the work," the girl said with a sly grin and a wink of her playful eye.

"Yohko, get a grip," a girl with brown hair and a shiny forehead snarled. "We're a team, which means we're all in this together, so back off."

"Wow, that forehead is really shiny," Beauty said, backing away from the screen. "Do you think that King Baldy Bald uses this girl as a blinding weapon?"

"WHAT! Now come on, that's totally unfair!" Madoka whined, ignoring Yohko's mad giggles and glares in her direction. The teenage girl wasn't laughing for long.

_Using his incredible powers of justice for hair, Bo-BoBo launched himself out of the cockpit, and into Madoka's listening closely to her hair._

"What's going on?" Ayano and Momiji, the other two pilots of Terra cried.

"You're hair is very disappointed in you," Bo-BoBo said to the girl. "You've tried conceal it, use fancy hair sprays on it to suffocate it, and constantly wear hats to block it from the sun's rays! You really should treat it with more respect." Before she could react, Bo-BoBo spread some kind of weird goo all over her head, and began scrubbing her scalp.

"Hey, this is against the code of conduct in space battles," Madoka cried. "Although it does feel rather refreshing."

"There, I'm done, and now your hair has gotten tan it has wanted for a long time," Bo-BoBo said with a big smile.

"AH MY GAWD! I'M BLONDE!" Madoka looked at the audience and sighed. "My IQ level just dropped fifty percent."

"Now wait a minute, that's going to far!" a busty young woman in red clothes snapped.

"Sister Rouge is just upset because Capt. Fuligar dumped her again," her sister Lote giggled, flying her own jet in the war. She was only ten, eleven at best, and already a complete dunce.

"Shut up," Lubrum, another of the Red Snapper pilots, and the more tomboyish of the four sisters of that team snapped.

"Are you sure she's the one whose tomboyish?" Beauty asked.

"I thought Erutron was," Gasser said to the author.

_The author is away from the computer right now, so he can't answer your questions. _

"Not this again!" Beauty cried.

"At least there wasn't a beep this time," Don Patch said, trying to be helpful for a change. "Hey, that hurt!"

_Beep_

"So sister Rouge, who the heck are we fighting?" Lubrum asked. "Team Terra, or these guys?"

_Just as she asked this, another pilot entered the air space laughing maniacally. _

"Mwaaahahahaaaaaaahaaaaha! Yamamoto Yohko, I'm back for my revenge," Sylvie Dread cackled. Bo-BoBo looked at the light purple haired, bispecaled woman, and sneazed, blowing up her ship, and forcing her to teleport from the vessel. "Oh come on, this isn't FAIR!"

"Wait, why did Bo-BoBo sneeze?" Beauty groaned.

"I'm allergic to maniacal laughter," the hero said, his nose hair wiping the snot from his nose, and pulling it back in. "And to war too, so I've got a message for all of you! If you want to mess up space, that's your place, but I'm trying to eat tofu, then it's Snot-Fu You!"

His nose hair reached out and slashed seven of the eight ships, leaving only Yamamoto Yohko and her ship remaining.

"Wait, when do people eat tofu in space?" Yohko asked.

"Yamamoto Yohko," another blonde woman said. She had an air of power around her, and her skin was as dark as a sandy beach.

"Sand beach isn't dark," Beauty cried.

"It can be if its near a volcano, or polluted," Gasser said.

"Gee, thanks for that," the dark skinned woman sighed. Admiral Rion looked at the girl and pointed a finger. "There's too many odd balls out at night, your mom doesn't want you anywhere near them."

"Oh come on, how do you know that? You guys pulled me from the past, to fight for you!" she groaned.

"Team Red Snapper went back into the past and brought her here."

"CURSE YOU ROUGE!"

"Ha, see, blondes can use their heads too," her first rival said with a giggle.

_As Yamamoto Yohko fled off to get a sever scolding by her mommy, a massive battle ship materialized from space and a slimey squid like alien with red eyes looked out into space._

"Hey, come on, this isn't fair, I paid good money to watch that fight!" the commander of the Glorft Armada groaned.

"It's Snot-Fu You," Bo-BoBo cried, and grabbed the battle ship with his nose hairs, tearing it in half.

"Oh no, not again. I've been bested by another Earthling idiot!" The Glorft commander blew up with his ship as Megas raced to do battle, and halted in mid motor blast.

"Ah man, I wanted to do that," Coop groaned.

"Dude, we've got to get out of here!" his best friend, and professional coward, Jamie screeched. "That guy just blew up the Glorft using his nose hairs!"

_I just said that. _

"And now I'm hearing a really irritated voice in my head! No, wait, more than one irritated voice, THOUSANDS OF THEM!"

Jamie's hair screeched at the top of their lungs, "WASH US, WAASSHH UUUSSS!"

"All right, you got lucky fella," Coop growled, staring at his friend for a moment before turning to Bo-BoBo, I wanted to take you out for doing what I really wanted to do, but since my friend here is going a little nuts, we'll have to call this thing a draw!"

"I never got to see who won the Grand Prix," the Glorft commander cried, somehow returned from the grave.

A flashy car raced through space, on a materialized road, and transformed into a robot. With a single punch it slammed the Glorft Commander back into oblivion, and thus defeating the great evil, giving Bo-BoBo the day off! "Man, I can't stand a guy who's a whiner," Liz Riccaro growled. "Oh well, I guess I'll go beat up Takeshi."

"Hey, that's not nice, now is it, Luca?" Amy Stapleton asked her cat.

"Meow," said the cat, who could communicate with electronic devices, but was conveniently free of them at the moment.

"The cast of IPGX is here too?" Beauty cried. "No it's another multi cameo chapter!"

"Don't worry, we're at the end." Gasser smiled and stroked her hand.

"I'm not going to marry you again," Beauty said with narrowed eyes.

"Waahaaa," Gasser cried.

_Will Beauty ever remarry Gasser? Will the cast of IPGX ever have a full cameo chapter of their own?_

_**DAMN STRAIGHT, THAT SHOW IS WICKED COOL!**_

"Sure, now he's at the computer," Beauty sighed.

_What will become of Yamamoto Yohko when her mommy is done with her, and does anyone even know about this anime series except for the author? And will Coop get his revenge?_

"Actually Coop and I made peace," Bo-BoBo said. "But you're disturbing our dinner, so could you please move on?"

"Yeah you mooch, get out of here!" Don Patch growled.

"This double fudged fat cooked burger tastes pretty good, you're right Coop," a shampooed Jamie said, his arm around a newly blonde Madoka.

"Blondes really do have more fun," the girl giggled.

_Is the author out of his mind, and has the evil ever really been beaten? This and all of the other questions will be answered in the next exciting installment of the BOBOBO FILES!_

"No they won't," Beauty snapped. "You'll just find new ways of making new questions and never . . ., wait, a double fudged fat cooked burger? HOT DOG I'M IN!"

_**So, am I still doing okay? I'm still having a blast, review, review review!**_

_**And on that note, two more reviews! **_

_**Kanwi & Super Chibi Girl Kawai: Well you girls have really pleased me, Lol. Of course You kinda made Don Patch upset by submitting so early Kanwi.**_

"I HAD MONEY THAT THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THE LONGEST REVIEW OF ALL TIME," Don Patch wailed.

"Of course they liked me, and all my shiny beauty," Armstrong said.

_**Er, yeah. blows up Armstrong.**_

"They're going to be mad you did that, Vanguard Ziggy," Don Patch said.

_**So? I plan to bring him back in another chapter anyway!**_

"They're names are a little wiggy," Bo-BoBo said with a goofy look on his face. "I feel like just TICKLING THEM!"

"Bo-BoBo, you can't go around tickling people because they're names make you wiggy," Beauty sighed.

"Well I read in a tabloid that it's a known fact that Super Chibi Girl Kawai likes getting tickled, so there!" Bo-BoBo pouted.

"And I happen to know that Kanwi doesn't like it one bit," Beauty snapped. She turned to the author, "Can we please move on now!"****

_**LT8: As you have seen, I found that out too! (Gasser's name). But thanks for the info. I most certainly am going to but the Fairly Oddparents in this, they're funny!**_

**_And yet even more reviews this fine Thanksgiving Day! Bringing me to 12 reviews total! _**

_**Sneere: DANM! Thanks for the review, but I'm not sure if you have had too much coffee, or are just A.D.D! My friend you have totally wigged out Bo-BoBo!**_

"I'm totally wigged out!" Bo-BoBo cried, nibbling on birthday cake. "It's tickling time!"

"Wait, it's not your birthday!" Beauty cried. She slammed a pot on his head to calm him down. "And no tickling because you get wigged out, for crying out loud!"

"HAPPY BAR-MITZVAH!" the hero cried.

"Bo-BoBo is Jewish?" Don Patch screamed.

"Why doesn't the author just review to these new reviews in a new chapter already?" Beauty whined.

**_Because then I'd be on line even longer, and some chapters and stories wouldn't get updated!_**

"Well anyway, I don't want to get into a fight," Beauty snapped.

"You may not have a choice," Gasser said.

_**Kingdomraindrops: Thank you so much, rest assured, I will indeed update a lot of chapters!**_

**_Anon E. Moose: Thank you so very much too! I'm pleased everyone is having fun with this! Hmm, normalcy. I'm not sure, but I'm not going to cross it out of existence either. The problem is, I heard that Bo-BoBo is allergic to normal things._**

"Yeah, I break out in a rash on my …," he began.

"BO-BOBO! KIDS ARE READING THIS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Beauty screamed at the top of her little pink lungs.

_**Okay, until I get more reviews, here's to the end of the chapter!**_


	8. WHAT THE SMURF IS GOING ON!

**_Ziggy's Corner: Okay, okay I get it. You all want me to add another chapter past the one I was going to give you, well, okay. It GET IT! You ask, and I supply! Its demand and supply! _**Beauty screamed, "I thought he said the last chapter was the last chapter until he updated!" **_Beauty, Beauty, Beauty, you just don't get demand and supply. I couldn't just let my fans suffer with just five updates when they wanted six. Now be a good little girl and wait for the announcer. _**"Alright," she moaned.

_**Anywho, now I have 14 reviews! Kool. And its all thanks to two new reviewers, who I'll address here.**_

_**Reni-chan-too-lazy-to-log-in: Damn that's a long name! Anyway thanks for the correction on Gasser, or should I say, Heppoko Maru. Thanks for the love, and you betcha I'm putting in Yu-gi-oh, and Teen Titans, but unfortunately I am unfamiliar with Ranma 1/2. I've seen the manga, but never got into it. Maybe if Cartoon Network picks it up I'll try to put it in. **_

**_AngellicChaos: Whoohoo gang! We've managed to kill a person with laughter! _**Cast and crew cheers triumphantly **_But still no milk coming from anyone's nose. _**The cast and crew, with the exception of Beauty weep bitterly **_But let's not give up hope. Thanks for the thumbs up, I hope you like these new chapters as well as the first two._**

_**Okay and away we go!**_

_In the last exciting chapter of the BoBoBo Files, Bo-BoBo decided to become a shining star and blasted into outer space with his friends and partners in protecting hair. There they came across a war zone between the Terra Team and the Red Snappers from StarShip Girl Yamamoto Yohko fame. Our bodacious hero quickly analyzed the situation and brought peace to the warring groups._

"Wait a minute, what peace? He shampooed Madoka's hair blonde, and then sneezed and blew up Slyvie Dread and then blew up the Glorft!" Beauty moaned. "There was no peace accord written."

"And he didn't tell me not to rinse it out," the teenage girl groaned, looking at her dull boring brown hair again. "No I just made dates with the Princes Adam and Zuko!" Madoka ran off crying her eyes out.

_I never said that there was a peace accord written, I just said that brought peace to them. Anyway, as I was saying, Bo-BoBo protected space from the horrors of war, and went on to star in his own televised movie, Bo. It was beautiful, it was moving, and it won so many Academy Awards that Bo-BoBo decided to dye his hair Gold. _

"HE DID WHAATTT!" Beauty turned to look at her companion, and sure enough Bo-BoBo's fro was so golden that he could hardly walk. Besides him a very angry Don Patch marched, grinding his teeth as dark sparkly lights flickered in his eyes.

"Won so many Academy Awards that he …," he turned to the author and snapped a finger out at him. "Listen buddy, you just wait until you update all of these chapters and SpinningCannon agrees to be my agent, then you'll be sorry!"

"Wait a minute," Bo-BoBo said. "The author is eating Macaroni and Cheese at this very minute." His face changed from a sensible man, into a lunatic and he attempted to rush out of the story, into the author's bedroom. "Macaroni is pasta! PAAAASSSSTTTAAAA!" Unfortunately he got stuck and had to wait six months before he could lose enough weight that he could wiggle back into the chapter.

"What is wrong with me?" Beauty groaned. "I could have stayed in my village, lived a normal life. But no I had to ask to come along with Bo-BoBo in the manga, which lead to the Japanese Anime, to the American Manga, which lead to the American show, and now I have to put up with fan fictions abuse!" She fell on her butt and moaned.

"Cheer up Beauty," Gasser said. "It can't get any weirder than it already has."

_Unfortunately Gasser was wrong. _

Don Patch reared his back and began hissing vilely, reaching out and scratching the air like a fiend. "Roerar," he said.

"Roerar? What's Raerar?" Beauty stood up and studied the word in the dictionary, shaking her head and tossing it behind her, which bonked the ninja star, candy thingy hero on his head. "Nope, nothing, there's no such word."

"Beauty what's wrong with you?" Bo-BoBo asked, dressed in a long, patched up, black robe. He rubbed his hands together and cackled as he walked over to Don Patch. "You could have hurt my little kitty, Patchriel," he patted Don Patch on his head, and the other purred like a cat.

Beauty wanted to ask what was going on, but before she could the crew quickly carried trees and bushes on stage and rushed away.

"Did you find those sweet little morsels," Bo-BoBo cackled.

"Okay we get it, the freak thinks he's some kind of alchemistic wizard, and Don Patch is his cat," Gasser groaned.

"But what are they hunting?" Beauty asked, looking through the bushes. Suddenly a very tiny line of pee shot up and hit her in the eye. "OH MY GODDDD!"

"Is it the Hair Hunt troops?" Bo-BoBo screamed.

"No you idiot it's just Baby Smurf," Don Patch snapped, reaching into the bush and pulling out a tiny, wailing figure.

"Aw he's so cute," Beauty said, holding him up in her hand, forgetting that the infant had whizzed on her. "Wait a minute, you and Don Patch were trying to EAT HIM WEREN'T YOU?"

"Beauty, you know I'm a vegetarian," Bo-BoBo scolded. "So since Smurfs are made out of tofu, the answer is YEESSSSS!" He launched himself at the Smurf and halted when he heard battle horns.

"This way my little Smurfs," Poppa Smurf shouted, "To honor, glory, and Smurfdom!" Billions of the little blue nineteen eighty collectibles rushed out, waving battle swords and pitch forks. That was until they saw the size of their opponents.

"Smurf this," Shitass Smurf snapped. "They're not Smurfing paying me enough Smurfberrry pies to support my Smurfing Smurf family for this!"

"Smurf you, you Smurfing Smurf of a Smurf," Poppa Smurf roared. "We won't Smurfing tolerate any Smurfing cowardly, Smurfing cowards like you!" With his wand he turned Shitass Smurf into a big pile of pig dookie. "Now, on to glory!"

_Unfortunately for the Smurf army, Bo-BoBo and Don Patch had decided to swallow the tasty little tidbits of evil as Poppa Smurf ranted._

"Wait, Smurfs aren't evil," Beauty snapped.

"How did you ever come to that conclusion," Gasser scolded the narrator.

_The Smurfs made people fall in love with their annoying language and different variation of the same tiny blue man, and gave King Baldy Bald all their money in the year three thousand, it's in the history books, you goobers! _

"Well that explains why I failed that one history test," Gasser said thoughtfully. He turned to Poppa Smurf, and bent over. "Fist of the Back Wind," he snapped. A yellow puff of air gagged the evil dictator who fell over and gagged to death.

"Lash of a Thousand Boogers!" Bo-BoBo shouted. His nose hairs shot out, dragged Gargamel and Azrael the cat and thumped those evil baldies good too, and tossed them out into space.

"Where did they come from?" Beauty asked. Suddenly she felt a tug at her leg, and she saw Smurfette and the tiny population of Smurfs with hair look up at her.

"Thank you for saving us from Poppa Smurfs spell," the blonde Smurf said. "Could you please hand us Baby Smurf so we could find a new home to raise him?" The tall human smiled and held the baby who giggled and threw up all the other Smurfs onto the dirt.

"WHAT THE HECK!" Beauty screeched, her eyes growing wide.

"Weren't you listening," Bo-BoBo sighed, looking at the baby, he himself wearing a diaper.

"Duh Beauty," Don Patch said, also wearing a diaper. "The narrator only told us that Gargamel and his cat made a deal with Envy to enslave the world for King Baldy Bald."

"HE DID NOT!" Gasser snapped.

_I did too, I just didn't speak it out loud. Anyway Bo-BoBo and his friends made peace with the Smurfs, and Poppa Smurf promised that if they ever ran across the mystical files of Bo, the Smurfs would bring it to the heroes._

"If we ever run across the Mystical Files of Bo, we'll get them right to you," Poppa Smurf said smiling.

_What did I tell you?_

"Wait, I thought you were an evil Smurf?" Beauty cried.

"No, Smurfing listen to the narrator, Beauty, he said that Envy kidnapped me and took my place."

"So … stinky … can't … move!" Envy said, nauseous at the stink bomb he had been attacked with.

Brigadier General Hughes stomped forward and clamped the Humonculi in chains. "Thanks for the help in apprehending this freak."

"WAIT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!" Beauty screamed.

"Hmmm, good point. By the way, anyone want to see a picture of my precious little angel?" He reached into his pocket for his pictures, and there was a roar of horror and a stampede of feet as everyone but Envy took off for the hills. "Now how did they know that Christmas was coming up? How nice of them to all go off and buy her a present without seeing her face." He looked at the villain and knelt down. "You wanna see?"

"Oh God, JUST SHOOT ME NOW!" Envy cried.

_Will Envy get shot? What is everyone going to by Hughes daughter for Christmas? How is his wife going to react now that she's married to a zombie!_

"We have to buy fifty thousand pounds of raw meat just as an assurance that he doesn't try and make snacks out of us," she groaned.

_And what about Edward and Al? Where were they in this chapter?_

"Yep, no doubt about it," the doctor said, looking over the metal suite of armor.

"So give it to us straight doc," Ed groaned. "We were almost in this chapter with everyone when Al started acting weird. What's wrong?"

"FullMetal Alchemist, I'm afraid that your brother Alphonse has a very bad case of… the Smurfs," the doctor sighed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Get them out of me, get them OUT OF ME!" Al moved and jerked but he couldn't get rid of the Smurfs who had abandoned their mushroom homes for the convenience of the twentieth century steel body.

"We should have gone modern years ago," Poppa Smurf said. "Al has much better cable than those stupid fungi ever did."

"Get out, get …, wait, I get cable! WOOOOHOOOOO! Twenty four hours seven days a week of football channels at last!"

"And here I was just starting to get him to notice me," Martia groaned. "Why does this ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME WHEN I MEET A MAN I REALLY LIKE!"

_Will Al ever notice that cute little blonde chimera, Martia? Will Ed get his jaw off the ground at either of their responses? And will Bo-BoBo ever find his blessed files! Stay turned for the furthering adventures and mysteries of THE BOBOBO FILES Star Trek Next Generation music plays with the cast dressed in that style of costume _

_**Okay, how was this chapter? I hope I'm still doing a good job!**_


	9. Of MANGA, Heroes and Theme Parks

"Another UPDATE!" Beauty's head was spinning around.

_**Ziggy's Corner: Yes Beauty, I have six more reviews, making twenty reviews, and I bought a Manga last month, so I have new ideas! But still, does anyone know the series Starship Girl Yamamoto Yohko?**_

"OH GOD NNOOOOO!" Beauty screamed until her face turned purple and she fainted dead away.

_**OOKkay. That being said, Let's get to them reviewers shall we?**_

_**Warrior: I hope to update this weekend so hopefully that will be soon enough for you! And I will definitely consider putting the Sonic cast into the series. I think Bo-BoBo would really go wiggy on Eggman/ Dr. Robotnic.**_

_**funnyman24: Will try! Don't know if I'll accomplish it, but let's see what we can do.**_

_**pointless people of Pluto: HEY, that was less than five minutes between reviews! Anyway, I think you are the first to review both chapters! I think. If I'm right, congrats. If by oc's, you mean original characters, or series someone has created, sure that could work, but you have to tell me who it is that you'd like to see. Thanks again for the love, Sara and hope you'll enjoy these next chapters.**_

_**tea: Is that tea like iced tea, or tea as in Tea from Yu-Gi-Oh, or Tea as in Tea Leoni? Lol. Okay sorry, I couldn't resist. Yes as you saw in chapter three, they were in that chapter, but still seem kind of late in the ball game. Sooner or later they'll get "into" the story, but probably closer to the end. Their constantly missing the boat is kind of like a running gag in this story.**_

**_finalfantasys-child: Cfyo guum hysa (this is sway kool name in Al Bhed). Do you like every game in the series, or just certain ones? My favorite is Final Fantasy 6 (FF3 for the Super Nintendo set). Naruto is most definitely part of the story as you have seen. Naruto vs. Ed Elrich? OOOOHHHH that would be interesting. You may just see that situation at that! And a combat about milk between those two, in a Bo-BoBo story? Wow that is just begging to be written! Damn now I may just have given somebody an idea and their going to get to it before I do. Oh well. Thanks for the praise, and hmm, it seems like I might still be the only Bo-BoBo writer at at the moment. Kool if that's true, but come on folks, let's get this movement on and get the Bo-BoBo ball rolling!_**

_**And now, on with the show!**_

_When we last left our Bo-dacious adventurers, they came across a Smurf War that would drive any sane child collector crazy! There were Smurfs coming out of the woodwork, Smurfs coming out of Bo-BoBo's ears, Smurfs coming out of poopie, and dookie and tears!_

"None of this makes any sense," Beauty complained, tapping her foot.

_But then we learned that the evil Smurfs were being controlled by the equally evil, if somewhat lame Envy, and in a confrontation, Bo-BoBo left him flat out. So now where do we find our heroes? Why in the world's most famous theme park …_

"Disneyland?" Beauty squealed.

"Universal Studios?" Gasser asked.

"My Mom's bedroom?" Don Patch yelled, leaping up and down with excitement.

"Your mom's bedroom?" the two previous characters snapped. "That's just gross!"

"Oh, oh, I know," Jelly Jiggler said, pumping his jelly arm. "Knot's Berry Farm!"

"Wait, what are you doing here?" Beauty asked. "You're not part of the group in the anime yet."

Jelly Jiggler smiled and waved a fat colorful book in his hand. "Manga," he said in a sing song tone.

"But why do you want to go to Knott's Berry Farm?" Gasser asked.

Jelly Jiggler wiggled for a moment, tears coming from his eyes, and then there was a puff of smoke, and the candy man was gone.

"He always wanted to be jarred and sold in one of their stores," Bo-BoBo said, spreading Jelly across a slab of bread.

"WAIT, DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO EAT HIM!" Beauty cried. "That's just gross."

Bo-BoBo looked at her and blinked. "NO WAY, I HATE JELLY ON MY TOAST!" The Afroed hero screamed, punching the toast along with Jelly Jiggler into space. "I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER!"

"So wait, where are we going then?" Gasser asked.

"HALLELUJAH LAND!" Jiggler screamed into his ears, blowing his eye balls out of sockets.

"AHHH, my eyes," Gasser cried. Scared out of his wits, the hero passed gas, and knocked down the Jiggly hero to his face.

"How did you get here?" Beauty asked.

"She brought me," Jelly said, pointing at a young girl with cute blonde hair and a pretty smile.

"Hi, I'm Suzu," she said with a cute voice. Beauty walked up to the new girl and patted her on her shoulder.

"I am so sorry he had to put you into this story," she croaked.

"Beauty CROAKED!" Bo-BoBo yelled. "No, it CAN'T BE!" He slammed a fist into Don Patch and sent that hero into orbit.

_The Bo-BoBo Theater is proud, but hesitant to show you the latest chapter of the movie, The Boy Who Cried Bo. _

Bo-BoBo stood as a little boy, holding the hand of a dead Beauty, weeping bitterly. "Mommy, mommy!" he sobbed.

"There, there son," Jelly Jiggler said, patting him on his shoulder. "There was nothing we can do. I tried telling her not to sniff the flowers, but she couldn't help it. And now she's gone."

"Oh my brave little man," Don Patch croned, dressed as an old woman. "It's alright, granny's here."

"WHAT DO YOU WANT OLD LADY?" Jiggler roared.

"I'm just trying to comfort my grandson, is that all right?" Don Patch screamed.

The two of them came to blows, and the young Bo-BoBo continued to cry until Louis Armstrong walked up to the woman, looked at the boy, and then pulled his breast muscles off, slammed them together and pressed them on Beauty.

"Okay while he's handsome that's just gross," Suzu snapped.

_Beauty woke up and slapped both Armstrong and the author, while Bo-BoBo lived happily ever after with his mommy. His daddy and granny however killed each other and were buried in the cemetery. The end._

"I warned you about this," Beauty told Suzu.

"Yeah, the author is really weird." She turned to Bo-BoBo and nodded her head. "But I heard a rumor that some kind of files were taken by the empire to the amusement park. You're looking for some kind of files, right?"

"Yeah, but unfortunately we'll never get there before it closes," Bo-BoBo sighed.

"Um, excuse me," a young masked teen said, twirling a martial arts stick said, "Do you folks need some help getting somewhere?" Right next to him was a large black man, in metallic body armor, a small green boy in a purple jump suit, a cute red head with green eyes and a revealing outfit, and a goth girl in blue robes.

"The TEEN TITANS!" Bo-BoBo shouted. "All right! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THIS!" Leaping into the air, the crazed hero landed on Cyborgs head and began sucking on it, as if it were a bowl of pasta.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH GET HIM OFF ME, GET HIM OFF ME!" Cyborg cried, running as if his butt was on fire.

"Titan's go!" Robin snapped, and the rest of the heroes rushed to aide their comrade.

Don Patch began to shout a battle phase, but stopped sort. "Wait, what are we called?"

"It doesn't matter," Bo-BoBo said, having released Cyborg and was sipping a cup of raspberry iced tea. "All we need to do is know that those files are at the theme park, and that the Teen Titan's enemy, Slade is working for the Empire."

"Wait, how did you know that?" Beauty asked.

"You don't have some kind of slicing mechanisms in those teeth, do you?" Cyborg asked.

Bo-BoBo looked at him and shook his head, removing the 'fro to reveal a script of the story.

"WAIT, IF YOU HAVE A SCRIPT, THEN WHY DON'T YOU KNOW WHERE THE FILES WERE AT THE BEGINNING!" Gasser screamed.

Bo-BoBo looked at them, and tore the script up, making Jelly Jiggler eat the remains. "What script, there is no script, why bother to rehearse? SCRIPTS ARE A MYTH!"

"O-kay," Robin said, blinking, not believing what he head seen. "Is he on medication or something?" he asked Beauty.

"Let's get going, gang, there's bad guys to beat up," Bo-BoBo shouted, riding an elephant.

_The group of heroes were confused, its true, but could do nothing but run after Bo-BoBo as the Teen Titan's machines were somehow destroyed, and they had no transportations. Little did they know that not one, not two, but three powerful villains were waiting to stomp them flat, and that the precious files had already been moved to a new location._

"They do _now_ you loudmouth," Slade growled at the narrator.

"Oh Butter Biscuits," Plasmius cried.

"Hmm, a floating halfa, a nutcase in a metal suit, some green hair fiend constantly talking about money, THIS CAN ONLY BE TO THE WORK OF FAIRY GODPARENTS!" Crocker cried out.

"Money, money, money, money, money, hey the rest of you shut up, I can't meditate on money," Halekulami roared at the other villains.

_Wait, I'm confused, I thought there were only three villains._

"THE WILL OF THE AUTHOR IS GREAT!" Crocker snapped, spazing out.

"Actually there are seven villains waiting for them," an evil little piggy giggled. "And when they come, they will have to face, ME, CHUCKLES THE EVIL PIGGY!"

_So who are the other two villains?_

"Let's just leave that to the interest of the fans," Slade said.

"Oh, that's good. Do you have an agent?" Plasmius beamed.

"I would, but spinningcannon hasn't called me back yet," Slade whined, rushing off screen.

**_So here it is guys, the first of an eight part mini-sub plot, with lots of cameos and heroes aiding Bo-BoBo and friends to free the amusement park. So who should be the final two villains for this arch of the story? Let me know. Maybe something from the movie, the Dark Crystal, or Admiral Zhao from Avatar fame? Your choice anyway. And do not worry, the story does not end with the end of this eight part arch, it will continue. Later._**

Okay I just wanted you all to know that I had gotten a cold earlier this month, and now my monitor is really nasty, it looks like it is going to fall right off, and the computer repair guy simply made things worse. I'll try to update as soon as possible, maybe in May, but do not hold me to that, as my time is not my own in updates. I just promise to do the best that I can.


	10. To Slade or Not to Slade

_**Ziggy's Corner: Okay chapter ten! This is getting fun! Although I have to work with a new computer and can not publish as much as I had wanted to because of all of the info I've had to look up. **_

_In the last exciting adventure of the BoBoBo Files, our hero Bo-BoBo won first place in the world wide national pasta ronni eating contest!_

"What are you talking about?" Beauty asked. "We met the Teen Titans, and he tried to eat Cyborg's head!"

"It tasted like Ice Cream Flambe!" Bo-BoBo shouted excitedly.

"I thought you liked Pasta," Gasser said, looking at the hero as if he were mad.

"Ice cream!" the hero cried.

"Mazzarella soup!" Don Patch yelled, leaping into a bowl of toxic waste.

"Puppy dogs with gravy!" Softon cheered.

"PUPPY DOGS WITH GRAAVVYYY!" Beauty and Gasser screeched in unison. "That's just nasty!"

Softon frowned and looked at them. "What, I like bathing my cute little puppy with gravy. It make his fur shimmer." He held up a card of Shining FlareWingman, Yu-Gi-Oh card. "See how it shines in the light?"

"Your dog is a card?" Raven asked.

_Anyway, our heroes traveled to the greatest theme park in the world to search for the mysterious Files they have been searching for. Unfortunately, the documents were moved by forces unseen, and our merry band of heroes must battle seven horrendous villains to pass through!_

Bo-BoBo and the cast are dressed as Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men.

"I happen to be a girl!" Beauty cried. The next thing she knew, she, and Suzu, StarFire, and Raven were all dressed as Maid Marrian.

"Oh kay, I'm really ticked off now," Raven growled, yanking at her girly clothes and putting her robes back on.

"Could we get on to the next chapter, please?" Gasser groaned.

_Okay then, let's get them ready to march into battle! But will they be any match for their first opponent? The deadly Slade?_

Words appeared on the screen, and Bo-BoBo's voice is heard off camera: "Episode Ten, To Slade or Not to Slade, that's the Question!"

"Hey, he's never done that before!" Beauty cried. "At least not in this fanfics!"

They all approached Hallelujah Land cautiously, Cyborg checking out the schematics of the place, Robin making sure no civilian would get hurt in an upcoming battle. He looked up and gave a warning sign. There were too many people to risk a confrontation today. Unfortunately Bo-BoBo didn't get the message.

"I WANNA RIDE THE HEART STOPPER!" He cried, tongue wagging out as far as it could go. Behind him, Don Patch right at his heels, his eyes full of tears.

"That's no fair, you always get to get on the good rides first!" He punched Bo-BoBo down to the ground and raced him to the entrance, were members of the Hair Hunt unit stared blankly at them. "I wanna get a ticket for the Skin Peeler!" Don Patch said, jumping up and down.

"Wait a moment," Robin snapped. He hurried, but it was too late, the fools were already bursting through the amusement park gates, and rushing toward the gates. "We can't just charge in like this!"

"Too late man!" Cyborg sighed, "They're gone!"

"Whoo! Whoo! Party time!" Beast Boy cried. Soon he was gone too.

"This is getting out of control!" Robin cried.

"You really have no idea the mess you're in, do you?" Softon asked. They shook their heads and he crossed his arms. "Typical." Then he rushed off to either find the heroes, or act insane himself.

Ride after ride, trap after trap they pushed through, until they came to a sign called the Heart Stopper. "This is where Mr. Bo-BoBo said he wanted to go," Gasser said, looking at the large heart shaped building.

"We've got to be careful," Robin snapped. "The last ride I went on tried to chop me up into little bits with chainsaws."

"Yeah, and an agent of Slade tried to clobber me with a train that looked a lot like that Jelly Jiggler guy on the great express railway ride," Cyborg said. "That was until Jelly Jiggler tried to make him eat him!"

"He tried to make the agent eat him?" Gasser asked.

"Yeah, but the agent said he preferred peanut butter instead, and went for a woman made out of the stuff."

"What happened to Jelly Jiggler?" Robin asked.

"Dude got so upset for being turned down that he ran off crying about end it all!"

_Somewhere else in the park, Don Patch is trying to talk an old friend out of a desperate act!_

"Don't do it Jelly!" Don Patch cried out, looking to the heavens and to his friend.

"Its no use," Jelly cried. "No one wants to eat me! Everyone always prefers peanut butter, or tofu! What good am I anymore?" The blue hero shouted. "Why, Why doesn't anyone want me!"

"You're wrong!" Bo-BoBo cried out, appearing out of nowhere. "Everyone needs a little jelly in their life! Especially after brushing their teeth!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

"No," a tooth said, appearing next to Jelly. "He means it! Teeth need jelly like the world needs peace!" All over the sky doves circled in the hippie peace symbol.

"PEACE! PEACE! PEACE!" They sang! Bo-BoBo took out a plastic rifle and shot each and every one down.

"WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT FOR!" Don Patch cried.

"I hate pigeons!" Bo-BoBo snarled.

"But those were doves!" a child cried.

"And what about peace and jelly!" the tooth asked.

Bo-BoBo turned to him, smiled nicely, and kicked him miles away. "I PREFER PEANUT BUTTER!"

"Then it's the end of Jelly Jiggler as you know him!" the wiggly hero cried.

"NO! Don't do it!" Don Patch cried. "Don't change!"

"Its too late, I have to change now!" Jelly Jiggler. He rose up, up, up, and became the sun.

"JELLY JIGGLER IS THE SSSUUUUUUNNNN!" Beauty screeched, her eyes widening to the point of leaping out of her skull.

"Won't he melt?" Beast Boy asked. Just then Star Fire appeared, and looked at the ride.

"Where were you?" Robin asked.

"I went to the house of fun, but all I found was metal hands that tried to use the tickling on me until my nose oozed the milk," she said.

"At least you didn't get forced to listen to bad karaoke," Raven sighed. "Why did Slade hire such lame lackies?" The next thing she knew, the robotic hands grabbed her, and held her down. Somehow she ended up in a swimming suit, and then the hands began tickling her.

"THEY'RE TICKLING RAVEN WITH FEATHERS FROM RAVENS?" Gasser screamed.

"Titans, Go!" Robin cried. Before they could act, Jelly Jiggler leapt out of the sun, and swallowed the hands, feathers and all, before running like a maniac for the bathroom. "Okay?"

They entered the ride, and felt their pulses pound. There was no ride, just a really, really old guy standing up there, looking at a crowd of teddy bears and Bo-BoBo, talking about his cute puppies.

"No puppies are cuter than mine!" Softon growled, and pulled out an AK-47.

"Relax, it's me, your older self from ten seconds in the future," the old man said.

"HOW CAN HE BE FROM TEN SECONDS FROM NOW AND BE SO OLD?" Beauty cried.

"He doesn't even look like Softon," Bo-BoBo snapped. He leapt up and pulled off the mask. It was Slade standing there.

"Very good Mr. Bo-BoBo. I'm surprised you even figured it out. Now its time for me to end the beating of your hearts!"

_A fierce battle erupted, hero vs. villain, good vs. evil, Seventies vs. Reganomics! _

"Why is the narrator calling out the battle, instead of Vanguard Ziggy writing it?" Gasser asked.

"Good point, the fans are missing a lot of my good lines," the villain growled. Somehow something slapped them both with a plaid elephant.

"A plaid elephant!" Beauty cried.

The will of the author is great!

_The will of the reviewers are even greater!_

That's a good point! Hmmm… the author slaps Don Patch with a can of corn oil.

"WHY CORN OIL?" Beauty whined!

"WHY ME?" Don Patch cried.

The fans have willed it!

"You have forced my hand," a half dismasked Slade growled. "You will never get out of here alive!" He'd been beaten by Robin and Cyborg. Trampled on by Beast Boy in elephant mode, pummeled by Raven, Snot Fued by Bo-BoBo, stank up by Gasser, force feed snack food by Suzu and Softon, and kissed by Star Fire.

"KISSED BY STAR FIRE!" Robin cried.

"He's like you Robin, both you and your brother are good kissers!" she giggled.

Wide circled eyed and slack jawed he shook his head, "Slade is my brother!"

"Yes little brother," Slade breathed Vader like, "and now you must face my ultimate weapon! My masterpiece! None of you will escape alive! Behold …"

"Terra dancing like a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader!" Beast Boy cried out.

"Yes! Wait, I mean, what's going on?" Slade turned to see the girl dressed just as Beast Boy had said.

"Hey daddy," she giggled, "Catch!" She dropped kicked Don Patch, and the hero crashed into the villain and knocked him out. In his hand dropped the key to the next level, and Terra handed it to Beast Boy, dressed as a nineteen twenties Flapper. "Good luck!" Then she exploded into dust and left the heroes confused.

"I'm confused," Beast Boy said.

"I'm hungry," said Cyborg. "Who wants pizza?"

"Dude, I could totally go for some pizza!" Michelangelo, the teenage mutant teenage turtle said. Soon his brothers appeared and away they and the Teen Titans went to go for pizza. Bo-BoBo and his friends took the key from Beast Boy and turned to the next door.

"We have to keep going forward," Bo-BoBo sighed.

A pair of eyes watched the group, and chuckled. "Welcome to my parlor said the spider to the fly!" Plasmius cackled. "You have no idea what lies in store for you at all!"

_What kind of diabolical plans does Plasmius have for our heroes? Will they get out of the theme park? Will Jelly Jiggler's diarrhea ever go away?_

"It just keeps coming!" Jelly cried, as wet oozing plops dropped into the toilet.

_Will Bo-BoBo ever find his files? What happened to Ed and Al?_

"I'm telling you for the last time, I can't stand milk!" Ed snarled.

"Milk is great! Believe it!" Naruto snarled, pushing a glass of milk at the other boy. "It makes your bones strong and gives you lots of strength to grow!"

"Oh yeah? Then what? You were two inches before drinking milk shortie?"

"Shortie? That's rich coming from you!"

"Now brother, keep calm," Al pleaded.

"Who are calling so short that a germ would look like a giant to it?"

"Naruto, be nice," Sasuke snapped.

"You are, you tiny little freak, now drink your milk!"

"Oh I'll tell you what you can do with that damn milk!" Ed hissed.

Master Yoda appeared and sighed. "First the Clone Wars began, and now the begins the great Milk War," his ears lowered and he walked away.

_Will there be peace in the milk front? You'll just have to wait and see for yourself in the next exciting chapter of the BoBoBo Files!_


	11. Of Ghosts and Xombies

_**Ziggy's Corner: Okay here we go!**_

_In the last exciting adventure, Jelly Jiggler,_

"WOULD YOU SHUT THE FREAK UP? I'M STILL SHITTING MY BRAINS OUT!" Jelly cried.

_Right, er… ahem. Anyway the defeat of Slade brought our heroes one step closer to getting out of the theme park. Now they must face the evil that is Vlad Plasmius!_

"What makes French Toast crunch?" BoBo-Bo screamed at the top his lungs, glaring at a big bowl of cereal. "I know you know, just tell me!"

"Bo-BoBo, what are you doing, we've got to find the next enemy," Beauty cried from behind. Her eyes wigged out as the 'Froed hero began hugging the cereal dressed as a woman. "WHAT NOW!"

"Oh darling, I'll never leave you again," BoBo-Bo wailed in a feminine voice. "I'll never leave!" He turned and dropped kicked an approaching Dengaku Man into the air.

"Mr. Bo-BoBo has lost his mind!" Gasser creamed.

"Balloons who wants a balloon?" Softon asked, holding twenty bald men twitting peacefully!

"What the heck?" Beauty cried.

Plasmius looked at the heroes and chuckled. "How did those idiots beat Slade?"

"Yeah, they're totally incompetent!" Bo-BoBo said, looking down at his friends. Plasmius turned and choked as he looked at the hero.

"How did you get here?" He roared. "My lab is totally secret!"

"We took the pink pony!" Bo-BoBo said.

"Dude for the last time, I am not a pony!" Danny Phantom cried, trying to pull both Don Patch and Klemper the Friendly Ghost in pjs.

"I just want to be your friend!" Klemper cried.

"I'll be your friend," Don Patch said.

"Really?" asked an excited Klemper.

"Sure, you just have do to do one thing!" He grabbed the ghost by his collar and threw him at BoBo-Bo, "Get that guy, he owes me money!"

"Hey wait a moment," Danny Phantom cried, "I thought you guys were all friends!"

"Daniel, I'm disappointed that you would still refuse my offers of training!" Plasmius snarled. He blasted a red energy flame at the boy, who turned intaginate and reappeared. "And to join up with these losers!" He looked as Klemper attack Bo-BoBo, who turned into a fridge and sent the ghost into the frigid.

"I don't want to be your frrriiieeeeennnnndddddddddd!" Klemper cried as he drifted off into the dark, cold sky.

"Hey I didn't join up with them, they just sort of showed up as soon as I did," Danny said. "But as long as we're all here!" The heroes took defensive positions, ready for the attack. "You aren't going to use this theme park to brainwash people!"

"Using a theme park to brainwash people? That's just plain sick!" Bo-BoBo snarled. "Taking people's self control and using it as a chew toy!"

"Hey look at my new chew toy!" Don Patch called, chewing something bright blue in his mouth, as he was dressed like a dog.

"That's Jelly Jiggler!" Beauty cried. "You spit him out right now!"

"That's it, I'm going in!" Gasser leapt at the ghostly villain, who smirked and side stepped him twice, before grabbing his collar off."

"NOOOOOO!" the cast cried.

"What?" Plasmius asked, totally out of the picture.

Gasser turned into his giant baby mentality, and looked at the cruel villain, letting go an atomic blast of a fart, that sent the rich fruit loop into the wall.

"I… AM… NOT… A … FRUIT… LOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPP!" He hit the wall hard and slumped down. "And I did not create this theme park to brainwash anyone," he smiled and flicked a switch. "This is what you'd call a set up!"

A wall opened and standing there, was… was…

_Was what? Come on, tell me! I have to know, no one ever tells me anything!_

You are the narrator, and you don't know?

_Well Bo-BoBo used my script!_

"For what!" Danny Phantom asked.

Just then Bo-BoBo walked forward, holding the script in his hands as he flushed a toilet. "I lost my toilet paper!"

"So you use the SCRIPT!" Beauty screeched, her eyes bulging out so far they looked like the pong paddles.

"I can't think of a better use for it," Gasser said, putting on his collar again.

"You can do that by choice?" Jelly Jiggler asked.

"You're BALD!" Don Patch screamed at Jelly.

"Whose bald, I just went to the barber, and…, OHMYGAWDI'MBAAAALLLLLDDDDDD!" Jelly Jiggler cried.

"You felonious find," Bo-BoBo growled at Plasmius, "What did you do with Jelly Jiggler's hair!"

"He's a walking, talking glob of jelly, he never had any hair to begin with," the villain snarled.

Jelly looked at Plasmius, wailing at what had just been said, as if he had no idea that he was jelly. "It… It brings me back to my childhood."

_The Bo-BoBo Theater is proud to present, the sticky truth of Jelly._

_Jelly Jiggler was a happy child filled with plenty of mirth and giddiness, he'd play in the field, he'd play in the valley, yes he'd even play in the…_

A young Jelly can be seen playing in the toxic waste dump.

_THE TOXIC WASTE DUMP!_

"Mom can I have some Ice Cream?" the young jelly boy asked his mother, who was none other than Softon.

"SOFTON IS JELLY JIGGLER'S MOOOOTTHEEEERRRRRRRR!" Beauty belched.

"How can that be? He's a guy!" Plasmius snarled.

"Quite, the movie is playing!" Bo-BoBo yelled.

"No, no…," Softon said. "You're lactose intolerant!"

"But I want it!" Jelly cried.

"I SAID NOOOOO!" Softon yelled, blowing Jelly away with a bazooka.

"And so I went to work in the super market, the end!" Jelly said with a big smile!

"I thought Jelly and Mr. Bo-BoBo were friends as children," Gasser said.

_Guys, guys, this is all fine and dandy, but what the heck is behind that wall!_

"I'm a torpedo!" Torpedo Girl said, standing at the heroes heels.

"Unfortunately she's not what I had in store for you," Plasmius said with a wide grin. Thousands of undead zombies began flittering through the walls. "I hope you enjoy my entertainment!"

"You sent the unholy, undead for us, what that's snot cool, dude, so it's time for the Super Super, Nose Hair, Zombie killing blast, holy sunlight!" Bo-BoBo shouted. The zombies stopped for a second, but then continued forward.

"Dude, sun light kills vampires, not zombies," Danny said. The teen hero shot through the sky, and began blasting the rotting bodies, before he got tired. Unfortunately the same was true for all of the heroes.

"These are special, hair hunting zombies. Once they eat your hair, they'll eat your brains, and once they eat your brains, you'll die, and turn into spirit. Spirits that I can control and use to conquer the world!" Plasmius chuckled.

"Unfortunately, _dad_ you forgot one thing!" a girl said behind him.

"Danni?" Plasmius, shrieked. His eyes turned bitter red with hate at his created, cloned "daughter", "Well I supposed this is as special day," he chuckled.

"I also brought some friends!" the girl said, and suddenly Beetovan's music began to play, and a light blue, hulk of flesh and bone leapt into the sky, twirling a shovel. The new hero landed with a thud, and went right to work, his dog, Cerberus at his side. Within minutes, zombie parts were all over the place, and Dirge was glaring at the villain. "This the guy?" he asked Danni. She nodded.

All the skin had rotted away from his head, leaving only a powerful skull, and his eyes. "You know how long it's taken to find you?" the heroic xombie snapped. The villain shook his head. "Day!" Dirge roared. "I had to protect Zoe even longer from the undead just to find you!"

Plasmius turned to see a little girl with pig tails, with a raven on her tee shirt. Standing above her was an Egyptian beauty, a xombie named Nephytus, wielding a scythe. She narrowed her own eyes at him. "Oh, hello, Plasmius, Vlad…,"

It was all he got to say, as Danny, Danni, Bo-BoBo, and Dirge beat him to a pulp. Nephytus twirled her scythe and tossed Plasmius into the ghost portal, which Jelly Jiggler quickly ate, thinking it was a large donut.

"Well I guess path two is gone, so what now?" Bo-BoBo asked.

"You'll have to go it alone," Dirge said. "I gotta get this kid to a human settlement before we're outnumbered by zombies smarter than this."

"And I've got homework that needs to be done," Danny said.

"And I've got to find a cure so I won't turn to ectoplasmic goo," Danni said. "Oh, but so you know, some pig is the third level boss."

"You mean he's sexist?" Beauty asked.

"No, she mean's he's a pig, darling, as in a real oinker, a pig!" Nephytus said as she walked away.

_Chuckles the Evil Piggy watched the heroes part ways and er well, chuckled! _

"Oh this is going to be rich! I'll finally have enough power to rule the world!" He began laughing, and laughing, until his sides ached. "Ow my little piggy spleen!"

_What is Chuckles' evil plan, will Bo-BoBo manage to defeat him, Will Zoe have to have her hair changed a third time from Xombie, and buddy, who the heck are you?_

_I'm the narrator of Dave the Barbarian!_

_Yeah well this is my show, so beat it!_

_Tough, the author told me I could come onto the scene next! You've got a co-narrator next chapter!_

_That's it, I need a new agent!_


End file.
